Pigs are actualy very intelligent. For instance: a pig would have noticed the typo in the first sentence before it was pointed out to them.
Making your own craft beer at home is fun, creative and totally legitimizes your alcoholism.
takes judge’s mallet
bangs it twice
“I declare myself innocent“
Judge: Son of a
“And get me pizza”
bailiff looks over
Judge: nods
I usually don't share personal info, but I suffer from a medical condition called "Holy shit I'm so high OH CMON who ate all the Cheetos?"
Life has meaning. If life had no meaning, then the meaning of life would be to have no meaning and you just broke the universe.
“Let there be light” sayeth the Lord to nobody because he’s a fucking lunatic who talks to himself.
It’s a scientific fact that 90% of the ocean has come into direct contact with a whale penis.
Laughter = Best medicine
Smokin weed = Laughter
Smokin weed = Best medicine
Math motherfucker.