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Two Questions for Scientists.
by
Tortmaster
Community
(This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)
Wednesday, Sep. 24, 2014
Wednesday, Sep. 24, 2014
at
8:26:52pm PDT
First question:
Long ago, somebody told me that if you have water in a pot on a stove and you brought it to a boil, it would boil in the same amount of time whether you started with cold water or room temperature water or hot water. I did not believe this person, but nodded wisely. Is it true?
Second question:
I've read about people throughout early history--like the Greeks and Romans--who looked up at the skies without magnification and saw Jupiter and Neptune and other planets that I cannot see now. Why?
Third question:
How can there be an infinity of numbers between the numbers 1 and 2? Is there also an infinity x infinity x infinity of water in an Olympic-sized swimming pool? Is there mostly nothing or mostly something or infinity between 0 and 1?
Fourth question:
You realize, don't you, that we love Scientists? We miss you. Was there a Science Rapture? Where have you been? It seems that the media talks a lot about reality television personalities and the Princes and Princesses of England and Congressmen from the South and doesn't talk enough about Scientists. That makes me mad!
Fifth question:
Can inaudible (to the human ear) soundwaves really cause roaches to scurry away? What about mice? Palins? How many times have you seen something advertised on radio or TV and thought, "LOL at people who buy that!"?
Okay, Scientists, by now you are probably realizing that I got you here under significantly false pretenses. Bear with me a little bit longer, please. I have additional questions
and
the diary will finish with a joke. In the meantime, here's intermission comedy starring the Higgs boson:
Sixth question:
When my boy was only 18 months old he toddled over to a chicken coop in a small petting zoo, and the rooster bit his finger before we could react. He immediately shrieked, "Chicken eat me!" Looking back, I think that was the funniest and cutest thing ever. Not the part where he got hurt--that sucked--but his exclamation. Do you agree? What about scientifically? Was that the funniest and cutest thing you have ever heard
as a Scientist
? Of course, after the incident, we took him to McDonald's for some Chicken McNuggets. Revenge is a dish best served with dipping sauces.
Seventh question:
Which natural or man-made catastrophe do you think has the greatest probability to cause catastrophic destruction on Earth in the next two years? In the next five years? Ten years?
Eighth question:
Can you tell us something or show us a picture in the comments about your field of endeavor that would confound us?
Ninth question:
Who is your hero Scientist and why?
Pencils down.
Finally, your joke. By the way, there was nothing up front about it being any good. There was no guaranty, perforce, that it would be funny. So, having done with the necessary warning and legally binding disclaimer, here you go. If President George W. Bush had mated with a Scientist instead of Barbara Bush, what would his offspring be called? Christian Scientists.
Thank you, Scientists! Thanks for putting up with the persecutions throughout history. Thanks for dealing with the inequitable amount of attention. You deserve so much more! Thanks for the Scientific Method. My goodness that was big. Thanks for all of your discoveries and inventions. Thanks for the cures. Thanks for putting up with the inadequate and inequitable pay. (You know I'd take all of the banksters' money and give it to you and the teachers and the firemen and women, but then they'd put me in jail.). Thanks for helping us better understand what is going on in our world. Thanks for the hours and days and months and years and decades of painstakingly complex work that has added to the body of our knowledge. Even if you discovered "nothing," you've shown us the path not to follow. Thanks for conquering your egos and requiring peer review of your data and experiments. Thanks for fighting our battles for us (and not for them). We really need you now! Thanks for putting us on the internet and getting us to the Moon. Thanks for our children, many of whom would not be here today without your discoveries. Thanks for everything!