Mittington Thurston Howell Rombot III can be accused of many things: being cold and robotic; being socially maladroit; lacking empathy; being ill-mannered and boorish; being greedy and conniving...etc etc; it's a long list. But nobody can accuse him of lacking optimism.
According to The Wall Street Journal, the out-of-touch plutocrat is on the verge of running for the Presidency...again.
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney told a group of donors on Friday that he is considering a White House bid in 2016, a move that could scramble the race for the Republican presidential nomination.
The remarks confirm months of speculation that the GOP’s nominee from 2012, who was also a top 2008 contender, is seriously weighing a third White House bid.
Mittens has forgiven you, America, for giving him the Bronx cheer last time around. He understands: you were bewitched, bothered and bewildered by the Kenyan, Muslin charmer.
Sure, Mitt was hurt; Anne was hurt; even Rafalca, the dancing equine tax-shelter was hurt. But Mitt is not the kind of guy to nurse a grievance...no, really; stop laughing...and he's ready to take you back.
Mitt just wants another chance to make this relationship work. A chance to hide his tax-returns some more, ship your job to China and get some more women into binders.
And isn't it time that Col. Romney of the 1st Armored Tax Avoiders get some recognition for his service during the Vietnam War? While many young Americans took the easy way out and accepted Uncle Sam's all-expenses paid vacation in SE Asia, Mitt Romney did the really brave thing: he went to France and tried to convince the French to give up wine, tobacco and sex. Now that's what I call a profile-in-courage.
I wish Bishop Mittens well. The only thing that would make me happier would be a Gohmer/Bachmann ticket in 2016. But I'll settle for The MittBot 3.0 (with the new quad-core chip and the self-compiling code).
And who knows? He might actually win. After all, if there's one thing America loves, it's an out-of-touch loser.