There's a diary on the rec list right now that I think opens a door to a discussion we all need to have. It's generating a significant of back and forthing about whether those who are not poor, those who engage in "conspicuous consumption", those who can afford and do purchase things like $500 purses and Lexus cars and who golf, etc. are inherently evil. There's a discussion about whether those who object to such people being automatically considered the enemy are just "defending the rich", are "tonedeaf", etc. This diary is not intended to carry on that discussion. Rather, it's to ask those who are hard up - whether temporarily or permanently - what they want such people to do.
You see, I grew up poor. My home didn't have indoor plumbing until I was 16 - only one of two that I knew about in our area. All our clothes came from garage sales. We asked our father to park far away so other students didn't see our rusty car without a muffler. I was the only student whose parents didn't attend my Honor Socity induction - because they couldn't take off work. But I was still one of the lucky ones. I was born with drive and determination and was one stubborn bitch. I ignored the counselors who suggested that there were good nursing and teaching schools around - which they thought were my only options, being a woman and all. Instead, I went into a then male dominated profession and have been reasonably successful. I married a man who's also been successful in his field.
So we are no longer poor (he never was). But I remember the first 30 years of my life when I was. It was hard. Damn hard. And I'm still surrounded by many family members who still have it damn hard.
And so I live in a constant state of trying to figure out - how do I handle this change? I've made many conscious decisions about not engaging in "conspicuous consumption". We live in a modest home, although it might not seem modest to all. Right now, I'm driving a 12 year old car with over 227,000 miles. I can't comprehend spending $500 on a purse. But I did splurge on one that cost nearly $100. And found I haven't gotten anymore pleasure from it than I did from $25 or $50 ones. I'm going to be splurging on a new car soon - and believe I will get a great deal of enjoyment from it. I donate to charities with both time and money. I try to give money to those in need, although I find individuals resist accepting handouts unless there's a specific reason - such as a fundraiser because their house burned down or someone needs medical care and is without insurance. And too often, when I've given without such a specific need, I've discovered it was a scam.
I strongly support raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour. I think it's the ONLY way to fight the poverty that's assaulting this country. I strongly oppose eliminating the inheritance tax and, in fact, think the exemptions should be pared way back. I believe the income tax on higher earners should be increased rather than decreased. I believe the earned income credit should be increased and expanded to those without children. Whenever I hear someone attacking things like SNAP or stating the vapid argument that those who get welfare should be required to work, I always argue with them. I know the grinding horror of true poverty and I would love to see a true progressive be our next president - even though I'm enough of a realist to not expect that to happen.
But my real question - one that I wrestle with regularly - is how do I handle having been financially fortunate? Do I sock money away with no purpose? Do I just hand it out to anyone that looks like they might need it, also knowing it might well either not be needed or not be used for what is needed? And how do I know what level of spending on myself and my husband is acceptable? Do I go back to buying my clothes at garage sales so I have more to give? Do I cancel my new car and instead buy one that's solely sensible? Do I just give everything extra to charities and hope they distribute it wisely? Do I not buy any new plants for my gardens this year and instead put the money in the donation can for someone's living expenses while they're getting medical care that's sitting in my grocery store?
Or do I do the best I can at making decisions I personally feel comfortable with - or at least as comfortable as I can, being that I seem to feel guilt even for my mere existence - and hope that people who haven't had a similar level of success don't see me as the enemy? Or do I just quit caring if they'll see me as the enemy? And if they see me as the enemy, do they even want me fighting for them? Or would they rather I just shut up and go away? Do I have a right to even discuss subjects like the minimum wage since it doesn't affect me? Do I try to defend those who receive SNAP benefits when I know I'll never need to depend on them?
These are all issues I deal with - and consider myself damn lucky to have these and not others to deal with. I can no longer put myself in the position of being incredibly poor and they were not questions that crossed my mind when I was. So I'd like to get input from those who are still in that position as to what their thoughts are on these questions. What is acceptable for people that are not super rich and are not at all powerful, but who have been fortunate? I'm really at a loss at this point.