From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Tuesday George Blogging
Happy Birthday to line crosser George Carlin, who would've turned 78 today. He spent many a glorious decade dissecting language, culture, politics and human nature, wielding a comedic scalpel and jackhammer with equal dexterity. All the reason we need to take a moment to revisit a mere smidgeon of his comedic Esprit de George…
When you're born in this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Hansel and Gretel discovered the ginger bread house about 45 minutes after they discovered the mushrooms.
This country is full of nitwits and assholes. You ever notice that? Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. And they all vote. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that they're the only ones who vote.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
O Beautiful, for smoggy skies, insecticided grain
for strip-mined mountains' majesty, above the asphalt plain
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee
and hides the pines, with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
…and, of course, the (
still not safe for work) seven dirty words:
His humor still makes my sides hurt. His (well-placed) cynicism still makes my head hurt.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Note: Nice belch. Bring it up again and we'll vote on it, ha ha.
---Your Friends at the NSA
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10 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til
Mad Max: Fury Road:
3
Days 'til the
Sasquatch Festival in Quincy, Washington:
10
Average pay increase for American workers in April:
3 cents
Number of oil- and gas-related jobs created last year and slashed this year, respectively:
41,000 / 49,000
(Source: Labor Dept.)
Rank of Emma, Olivia and Sophia among most popular baby girl names in 2014:
#1, #2, #3
Rank of Noah, Liam and Mason among baby boy names:
#1, #2, #3
(Source: Social Security Administration, but wouldn't it make
more sense to delegate that to the Dept. of Labor?)
Number of African countries with vaccination rates higher than that of the United States:
16
(Source: Harper's Index)
Percent chance Jeb Bush would've invaded Iraq in 2003 if he was president:
100%
(Source: Jeb Bush)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
The leaders of southern poverty law center and aclu are Jewish. This whole, well liberals are liberals first, I don't buy it. What is the agenda here? It can't be good. American Jews and Islam seem to have one big thing in common. They are allies in destroying western civilization.
---Commenter frontiergy at the "moderated" Michelle Malkin blog
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Finding Momo
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CHEERS to commencement season. As college seniors across the country prepare to make their transition from campus life back to their parents' basements to living solo and setting out on a career path, graduation ceremonies are springing up, complete with celebrity speakers. Over the weekend, Michelle Obama addressed graduates at Tuskegee University and made much-appreciated remarks on the ever-present threat of racial bias. Here's a clip:
"Folks across the country are dealing with [race-based indignities] every single day---those nagging worries that you’re going to get stopped or pulled over for absolutely no reason; the fear that your job application will be overlooked because of the way your name sounds; the agony of sending your kids to schools that may no longer be separate, but are far from equal; the realization that no matter how far you rise in life, how hard you work to be a good person, a good parent, a good citizen---for some folks, it will never be enough.
And all of that is going to be a heavy burden to carry. It can feel isolating. It can make you feel like your life somehow doesn’t matter---that you’re like the invisible man that Tuskegee grad Ralph Ellison wrote about all those years ago. And as we’ve seen over the past few years, those feelings are real. They’re rooted in decades of structural challenges that have made too many folks feel frustrated and invisible. And those feelings are playing out in communities like Baltimore and Ferguson and so many others across this country."
The antidote: succeed. It'll drive the haters nuts.
CHEERS to fresh paneling. Only 65 days 'til the start of the annual Netroots Nation convention in Phoenix, and things are starting to take shape. After sifting through over 400 panel submissions, Raven Brooks reports that the 80 finalists are etched in stone and they're…
…the most diverse group of speakers in our 10-year history. Our 2015 agenda includes a strong lineup of panels on issues that surround the immigration debate: discriminatory policies that terrorize communities, the private prison system, racial profiling and police brutality. Those same issues are at the forefront of many urban cities across America, so we’ll also be highlighting those stories, too.
And our speaker list is the most diverse ever: 62% are people of color, a 9% increase from last year. The percentage of Latino/Latina panelists and moderators went up 14% from last year. Plus, 63 percent of our speakers/moderators are women, helping us with our ongoing goal of raising up women’s voices.
The lineup also features panels on hot topics like the student debt crisis, combating religious freedom bills, the West’s water shortage and the 2016 elections. And we’ll have sessions that challenge us as progressives to model solidarity in the movement.
You can register to attend
by clicking here. Sadly, my panel idea---the "How To Lawyer Up When Netroots Nation Rejects Your Panel For No Other Reason Than It Sucked" panel---missed the cut. And now I have no idea how to respond.
JEERS to Billehstrodamus. (That's me!) Sometimes I hate being able to see into the future with crystal-ball clarity. But, alas, this was my prediction 22 days ago here in C&J:
Voter response: "Jolly good, old chap!"
[T]he austerity-mad Conservatives are going to win again because Labour is acting like their baby sibling. What's the old saying about nothing being in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos?
I'm happy to be wrong, but I'm guessing a guy named Ed Miliband will be joining them.
Just like our conservatives did in last year's midterms, Britain's righties clobbered the lefties handily (and clobbered the wrong-o pollsters at the same time, which I can't get too worked up about). And right on cue, George W. Bush's favorite Labour lapdog, Tony Blair, comes storming in to offer these words of advice for how to beat the conservatives next time:
be more conservative. Pardon my proper English, but I really wish he'd shut his gob.
CHEERS to the "Mad" Father of Broadcasting. 107 years ago today, Wireless Broadcasting was patented (#887,357) by Kentucky melon farmer Nathan B Stubblefield. It looked something like this. They called the early years of radio "golden" for a reason. Hannity hadn't signed on yet.
CHEERS to Great Moments in "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a superman in a plane that looks like a bird!" Swiss pilot André Borschberg---I think that's swiss for "I Must be Out of My Mindberg"---is going to take off today in that gorgeous Solar Impulse 2 lighter-than-air machine and spend most of a week flying across the Pacific on nothing but sun power and a get-it-yourself beverage cart. Sounds like the "Fasten Seat Belt" light will be on most of the time:
To infinity and beyond! Or,
if not, then Honolulu works.
A more persistent challenge for the pilots have been strong crosswinds. Such winds rarely deter heavier, more powerful aircraft, but they can have outsized effects on the slow-flying, lightweight Solar Impulse 2, pushing it off course or forcing changes to the flight plan as the pilots hope to complete their Pacific travel before the start of monsoon season.
During their travel across Asia, crosswinds delayed takeoffs and landings several times. Piccard was even shoved backward by crosswinds on his approach to the airport in Chongqing, China. “I almost disappeared from the air traffic controller’s radar because I was flying backward,” he said.
So, depending on the crosswinds, he'll either land in Honolulu next week or Myrtle Beach in 1975.
JEERS to road rage, horrible pseudo-celebrity edition. Yesterday some guy tried to shoot George Zimmerman in the face. The shooter is being investigated by the police as a possible criminal, and also being vetted by the Republican presidential contenders as a possible vice president.
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 12, 2005
CHEERS to queer science. Well, well, well. New research suggests that sexual orientation is (like we've been saying since Adam and Steve attended Eden's first Rave) hardwired at birth, not a choice. And in the minds of the right-wing fundies, this promises to change...absolutely nothing.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Yogi Berra. And happy 90th birthday to the baseball legend:
Nobody worships at the altar of
Yogi anymore---it's too crowded!
Yogi went on to become a Fifteen-time All Star, winning the AL MVP three times, in 1951, 54 and 55. He played in 14 World Series and holds numerous World Series records including most games by a catcher (63), hits (71), and times on a winning team (10), first in at bats, first in doubles, second in RBI's, third in home runs and BOB's. Yogi also hit the first pinch hit home run in World Series history in 1947.
Yogi was elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 1972.
There are too many Yogi-isms to count, but one stands out as an apt statement on the Republican base: "There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em." Feast on
a few more here. And remember, when you come to that fork in the road, take it.
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
If there is a God why in the world did she decide to put Bill in Portland Maine as the guardian of the planet? What a mistake. And here I thought she was omnipotent.
---Digby
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