Today is National Coming Out Day in the U.S. as you may already know. National Coming Out Day can be a day when some people decide to come out of the closet, but it's not really meant for that purpose. It's for more than that. It's a day when LGBTQs and allies, think about the coming out process that they, and friends, went through. They talk, remember and offer support. They help others with their coming out struggles.
For many, coming out can be an extremely difficult process. Some people have come out and been beaten, evicted, disowned, fired from jobs, lost former friends and relatives. Some have committed suicide. Some have been killed. Because they chose to share who they were with others, no longer hiding.
Others come out and have had a much more positive experience. They get offered support, help, friendship.
Some are in the middle, getting some support from various people in their lives, while others abandoned them.
Coming out is almost always a traumatic experience. What will my parents say? Will my friends still like me? Could my church reject me? What about my classmates, colleagues, friends? What about ME? How will I feel when word gets out? Will I have the strength to deal with the repercussions? These are just some of the questions that closeted LGBTQs face. There are a lot of emotional upheavals that are associated with coming out. One of the things National Coming Out Day does is it allows us to remember those feelings. And to share them to help others with their decision to come out. To act as mentors and offer support and advice. To share experiences. To pffer hope.
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The "It Gets Better Project" was created to help (mostly young) LGBTQs learn that it does get better. This group of young people is especially vulnerable. Some may be going through adolescence with all of those changes and pressures. Meanwhile, they are dealing with being closeted and all of those pressures, as well. Those in their teens and early twenties have a very high suicide rate. The It Gets Better Program helps to show them that they can work through depression, fear, shame, hurt and other emotions. The videos show lots of others who have done just that. Worked through those issues and come through them whole and healthy.
There have been over 50,000 It Gets Better videos done and posted. People in these videos (actors, politicians, religious, sports figures, celebrities, musicians and just everyday people) post clips of what it was like for them then, before coming out and how it changed for the better for them. The Project is designed to show that it's not always as bleak as it seems. That suicide is not the answer. Things can, and do change for the better.
The New York City Fire Department (FDNY) posted it's own "It Gets Better" video in time for National Coming Out day. It's a powerful and affirming story done by several members who are firefighters, paramedics and EMTs who are also LGBTQ. They briefly discuss their stories, share emotions and talk about how it has gotten better for them.
The clip is only a few minutes long, but it's well worth watching. It shows how things can change if people, all people, work to change them.
If anyone is reading this and does feel suicidal, please talk about your feelings with someone who can help. The Trevor Project has a hotline 866-488-7386, as does the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK.) Both are available 24/7/365. http://www.thetrevorproject.org http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org