One year ago,
we originally profiled “Dr. Chaps”, a.k.a. Gordon Klingenschmitt, a former military chaplain reprimanded and discharged by the Navy in 2006 for disobeying orders and attending a political protest in uniform, who apparently while once counseling a rape victim on his vessel, discovered she was a lesbian and immediately stopped helping her through her trauma to restrain her and try to exorcise the demons out of her that were making her gay (I’m serious, he’s bragged about this). Klingenschmitt then took to the airwaves on a cable access show, where he has tried performing long-distance exorcisms on all sorts of famous people to remove demons from them, from liberal celebrities like Madonna, to politicians like President Obama and Texas State Senator Wendy Davis. The latter makes sense when you consider he claims the Bible teaches us to defend ourselves against “left-wing crazies” (I don’t remember Jesus saying that, myself). He also thinks the FCC have loosened guidelines to help demons travel through televisions to “
molest and visually rape your children”, that the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. taught us to discriminate against gays, and repeatedly has claimed “
Obamacare causes cancer”. Klingenschmitt, despite being pants-s***ingly insane (speaking of which, he has claimed the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” has made gay soldiers have to start wearing diapers from all the gay sex they’ve been having making them lose bowel control, because he’s that charming), decided to make a run for the Colorado House of Representatives. And just prior to the election, he claimed openly gay Democratic Congressman Jared Polis was “
going to join ISIS and start beheading Christians” because seriously, at this point, could he really do anything to come off as more deranged?
I am sad to report that for whatever reason, in a part of Colorado… people still voted for this rabid zealot, and managed to get him elected to office with 53% of the vote in the GOP Primary, and 70% of the vote in the general election, and I can only hope they did so ironically. Klingenschmitt will run again to stay in office in 2016, however, is jumping districts, instead choosing to run for Colorado State Senate in District 12 (Watch out, Katniss) instead of his House seat, as if he's done something worthy of a promotion, and not just made his own colleagues fall out of their chairs trying to get up fast enough to distance himself from his remarks.
I don’t know if peeking out his voting record will be any more telling about his extremism, because the site Right Wing Watch has kept tabs on his cable access show, where he’s continued to preach about demons making us do bad, bad, liberal things (and you know he freaked out when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage). And under the fold, we present but some of Dr. Chaps' most frightening, frequent bigoted rants he's continued on since we last profiled him:
-November 12th, 2014: About a week after winning election to the Colorado State Legislature, Klingenschmitt appears on the "Bible News Radio" program, to discuss all the controversy and criticism over his election, asking, "Why would anyone hate a chaplain?" He then answered his own question... it was proof of the anti-Christian persecution he says he's always facing.
-December 8th, 2014: Klingenschmitt opines about a case in Texas where a lesbian couple were trying to get a judge to lift a stay on his overturning of gay marriage in Texas, because one of them was pregnant, and wanted her domestic partner to be able to gain legal protections over the child they were expecting. But Dr. Chaps had his own hot take...
"Isn't it a tragedy when you can't have homosexual sin right away?" he asked, mockingly. "That's what they're alleging and, of course, it's ridiculous. In God's government, that sin ought to be delayed indefinitely. And, in fact, if they remained abstinent until death, maybe they wouldn't be punished for the sin that they're trying to expedite. Sigh... Some people are in a hurry to run into Hell."
-December 15th, 2014: Klingenschmitt claims that male-on-male sexual assaults in the military have increased because of the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and calls for it's repeal to "
push gay people back in the closet". (Which, I don't know how someone can retroactively go back and unreveal they're gay, if they already have. That's sort of a hard genie to get back in the bottle, Gordo.)
-December 19th, 2014: As a long-time critic of the Affordable Care Act (what claiming it causes cancer and all), Klingenschmitt goes on his show to reveal his alternative to it after it's repealed...
FAITH HEALING. Yep. There's a passage from Exodus 15 that advises us to "
look to the Lord for healthcare". Problem solved (not really).
-December 22nd, 2014: Approaching Christmas, and Klingenschmitt's in the holiday spirit as he comments on a Bridgewater, New Jersey mosque that had to overcome the city trying to change zoning laws to prevent them from building there. So
Dr. Chaps talks about the prophet, Muhammed (uh oh). He should have just been stoned to death for being a false prophet back in the day, in his intolerant little mind.
-January 13th, 2015: Klingenschmitt hosts anti-Muslim activist Bill Warner on his show, and after he claims "
President Obama is promoting Islam with American tax dollars", his guest declares that under Sharia Law, Obama is a Muslim and "
the face of Islam in America".
-February 4th, 2015: Klingenschmitt
complains about gun-free zones, claiming that the Bible passage Samuel 13:19 is proof that God is also against them.
-February 11th, 2015: Klingenschmitt gives his thoughts on government officials potentially having to legally recognize gay marriage, equating such a thing to a "
demonic yoke of slavery".
-February 17th, 2015: Klingenschmitt
offers his kudos to a bakery in Oregon that refused service to a same-sex couple, saying that they were actually "
blessing them" by doing so by "
refusing to participate in their acts of sodomy". Now, I don't know the Betty Crocker cookbook backwards and forwards, but I've never heard of a cake recipe that involves sodomy (if I'm wrong, you don't need to link me to those recipes, thanks).
-February 19th, 2015: Klingenschmitt reacts to an Associated Press poll that says a majority of Americans now support marriage equality, and blamed it on what else?
Demonic spirits. He then warned of the End Times and the Anti-Christ, like you do.
-March 18th, 2015: Klingenschmitt
sends out a fundraising e-mail that calls for the impeachment of President Obama over gay rights, trying to funnel money into Israeli elections to ensure the defeat of Benjamin Netanyahu, and help Iran get a nuclear weapon to destroy Israel.
-March 26th, 2015: Klingenschmitt tries to explain the psychology behind transgender people. Nah, I'm just kidding. He
blamed it on a demonic "predatory spirit of sexual exploitation".
-March 31st, 2015: Klingenschmitt is stripped of his committee assignments in the Colorado state legislature after he
blamed a knife attack against a pregnant woman on "a curse on God on America" for legal abortion. He eventually apologizes for his remarks, and says he will temporarily suspend his show for the remainder of the legislative session as a concession to the Colorado GOP.
-April 2nd, 2015: Klingenschmitt starts uploading his shows to his Youtube channel, including one where
he warns that within a century, 20% of America will be "recruited into homosexuality".
-May 13th, 2015: Klingenschmitt
discusses the legalization of recreational marijuana use in Colorado on his show, and phrases it in his usual colorful style when he rhetorically asks, "Do you really want to be devoured by the Devil?" I guess we now know what Heironymus Bosch was growing in his "Garden of Earthly Delights".
-May 19th, 2015: Klingenschmitt returns his focus to the LGBT community, advocating that gays receive the controversial (in the way that it has begun being classified as a human rights violation) gay conversion therapy to "
get the Devil out".
-May 29th, 2015: Klingenschmitt turns his eye to international politics, specifically Ireland, who after voting for same-sex marriage,
he suggests get "another Saint Patrick to drive out the demons" who voted for it.
-June 15th, 2015: Klingenschmitt reacts to the news that the Boy Scouts of America were rescinding their ban on gay scout leaders,
saying that they were opening themselves to "untrustworthy men who have a fetish for young boys".
-July 27th, 2015: Klingenschmitt
calls for parents to remove their children from the Boy Scouts, warning that if they don't, their children will be abused by gay child molesters. Instead,
he thinks it would be better to take those gay scout leaders, and as Matthew Chapter 18 recommends, to "tie a millstone around their necks and drown them in the depths of the sea".
(Yes, he just accused gay men of all being child molesters, and called for the premeditated execution by drowning, in case you missed that.)
-August 24th, 2015: Klingenschmitt tries giving an odd apology for his series of remarks on the Boy Scouts, where he gives the classic "taken out of context" defense, and says that he couldn't have accused all gay men of being pedophiles...
because being gay is caused by one form of demon that possesses you, and pedophilia is caused by a completely different kind.
-September 24th, 2015: After a catastrophic crane accident in Mecca leaves 107 Muslim worshippers dead, Klingenschmitt offers his sympathies to the deceased and their families. HA! Just messing with you. He
attributed the accident as being a "consequence of praying to Satan".
That's just a sampling. There are interviews Klingenschmitt has had with other Republican social conservative maniacs like Rick Santorum, E.W. Jackson, Tony Perkins, and Mike Huckabee that we've mentioned in their profiles that, frankly, show how unhinged the GOP has become, that they can openly associate themselves with a disgraced member of the military whose understanding of the changing world around him seems to be more on par with a member of the Inquisition in the Dark Ages than a functional 21st century human being. We're 13 months from election day in Colorado again, and I'm hoping that the legalized weed doesn't leave people too lethargic to get out and prevent this lunatic from actually moving a rung up on the political ladder. Please, Colorado, don't make the same mistake twice.
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