Last week I wrote about my own experience as a victim of domestic violence. In
that essay I wrote that my experience was "so typical. So ordinary and so common." And it was. My abuser followed the steps from loving attention to physical violence as if he had a road map.
If you met me in a group of people, I would be the last one you would believe could have been caught up in such a relationship. I just don't seem like the type of woman who would put up with any crap from a man. Nor would my abuser have seemed to fit the image of a brutish batterer.
Abusers tend to be a highly manipulative lot, charming to those they consider their equals or superiors. It is only in the privacy of the home that their controlling behavior is exposed. Their victims quickly learn to hide their thoughts and reactions, hoping always to deflect the anger of the abuser. Those same skills are used in public to keep the violence private.
Every three seconds someone suffers physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner, and although most are women, they are not all women. And if women like myself don't fit the stereotypes of battered women, think for a minute of the men who are battered and how much worse the stereotype fit is for them.
Read on for more on other victims who don't fit the stereotype.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC's) Intimate Partner Violence in the United States–2010 report, which is based on data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS):
Women more likely to report severe IPV and related impacts than men.
- Women were more likely to be victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner (24%) than men (14%).
- Women were more likely than men to experience multiple forms of IPV, both across their life span and within individual violent relationships.
- Female victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate were significantly more likely than male victims to experience impacts such as fear, concern for their safety, need for medical care, injury, need for housing services, and missing at least one day of work or school.
The fact that women are more likely to report more severe IPV than men does not mean that men do not suffer from intimate partner violence. They do. Twenty-eight percent of men suffer physical violence and 14 percent suffer severe physical violence during their lifetime. Twenty-nine percent of heterosexual men experience rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Click to enlarge
At even greater risk of intimate partner violence are sexual minorities. According to the CDC:
Sexual minority respondents reported levels of intimate partner violence at rates equal to or higher than those of heterosexuals.
- Forty-four percent of lesbian women, 61% of bisexual women, and 35% of heterosexual women experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
- Twenty-six percent of gay men, 37% of bisexual men, and 29% of heterosexual men experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.
- Approximately 1 in 5 bisexual women (22%) and nearly 1 in 10 heterosexual women (9%) have been raped by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
The CDC now calls what used to be known as domestic violence, intimate partner violence (IPV), which includes a broader population of victims. Or, as the
National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) calls them, survivors.
On October 15, 2014, the NCAVP released its 2013 Report on Intimate Partner Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,Transgender, Queer and HIV-Affected Communities in the U.S. Some of the highlights include the following from the press release:
People of Color Survivors
For the third year in a row, LGBTQ and HIV-affected people of color made up the majority (50.2%) of intimate partner violence survivors.
...
LGBTQ Youth and Young Adult Survivors
The majority, 36.8%, of survivors of IPV that reported to NCAVP in 2013 were between the ages of 19 and 29.
...
Gay Survivors
42.8% of total survivors identified as gay
...
Bisexual Survivors
The 2013 report found that bisexual survivors were 1.6 times more likely to experience sexual violence, 2.2 times more likely to experience physical violence, and 2.6 times more likely to be injured as a result of IPV. NCAVP’s 2013 data reinforces the findings of the National Intimate Partner Violence Survey (NISVS), a prevalence study on intimate partner violence in LGB communities published by the Center for Disease Control in 2010. The NISVS report reveals that 61% of bisexual women and 37% of bisexual men experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking in their lifetimes within IPV.
...
Transgender Survivors
The 2013 report found that transgender survivors were 1.9 times more likely to face physical violence, 3.9 times more likely to face discrimination due to IPV, and 1.5 times more likely to experience IPV in public spaces.
...
Undocumented Survivors
The 2013 report showed that LGBTQ and HIV-affected undocumented survivors were 2.9 times more likely to experience discrimination within IPV relationships.
...
Service Provision
NCAVP’s 2013 report found, similar to last year, that very few LGBTQ and HIV-affected survivors accessed vital first responder services including police, domestic violence shelter, and orders of protection when experiencing intimate partner violence. In 2013, only 17.0% of total survivors reported to NCAVP that they applied for orders of protection, which reflects a large increase from 2012 (4.9%), but remains a very low number.
Although women still make up the majority of victims, or survivors, of intimate partner violence, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) includes gender neutral language. After much foot-dragging by the
"Neanderthal crowd" of Republicans in the House, the VAWA was
extended in 2013 to bring under its protection gays, lesbians and transgender people, Native Americans, and immigrants.
Much work remains to be done to provide the necessary social services to all victims of domestic violence. There are not enough beds for battered women in shelters; beds for men and members of the LGBTQ communities are rarer still.
The CDC has put together this infographic on IPV. The original can be found here.