Liz's Stratagem is adapted from Lysistrata, Aristophanes'anti-war play...an ancient Greek comedy in which the women of Greece attempt to prevent further war through the strategy of a sex-strike. The women have gathered and agreed to the strike, and have also taken the Capitol (and secured the Treasury, as well!).
After several skirmishes, the women gain the upper hand over the men, and have captured the Senator. This installment begins with the debate about war between Liz and the Senator.
Part 4's installment of Liz's Stratagem (© KPS 2012 ) offers:
Scene 7: The Debate between the Liz and the Senator
Scene 8: The Men Attempt to Regroup
Scene 9: Abstinence Begins to Take its Toll (Wherever You Go
Scene 10: Complications
Scene 11: Frustration
The first three installments may be read, here:
Liz's Stratagem, or War, What is it Good For?
Part 2: Liz's Stratagem, or, War, What is it Good For
Part 3: Liz's Stratagem, or War, What is it Good For?
Scene 7: The Debate between the Liz and the Senator
SENATOR
(Avoiding WOMEN, who surround him, like prey)
Very well, my first question is this—why have you barred the gates of the Capitol?
LIZ
To seize the Treasury: no more money, no more war.
SENATOR
You believe money is the cause of war?
LIZ
Not only war, but all our troubles: mercenaries were paid, and coups organized in order to control other nation’s resources. But they’ll get no more funding here!
SENATOR
So, what do you propose to do?
LIZ
Why, we intend to administer the Treasury ourselves.
SENATOR
You?
LIZ
Why does that surprise you? Don’t we control our household budgets?
SENATOR
But that’s not the same thing!
LIZ
How so? How is it “not the same thing”?
SENATOR
It’s the Treasury that provides the expenses of War.
LIZ
Oh, we’ll manage them.
SENATOR
What? How do you mean to keep the cities safe?
LIZ
We’ll provide for them, too.
SENATOR
You?
WOMEN
US!
SENATOR
Then all is lost!
LIZ
Hardly. We women will save the Nations, like it or not!
SENATOR
This is intolerable!
LIZ
You may be annoyed now, but you’ll come around soon enough.
SENATOR
This is downright subversion!
LIZ
Perhaps. But we are going to save you, Senator.
SENATOR
What if I don’t want to be saved?
LIZ
Why, all the more reason.
SENATOR
How can you develop strategies for Peace, when you’ve no intelligence for War?
LIZ
I’ll gladly explain it to you.
SENATOR (threatening her)
Out with it, then, quickly, or I’ll—
LIZ
Listen, patiently, and you will soon know our mind.
SENATOR
This is too much! How dare you. . .
OLD WOMAN
We dare! We dare!
SENATOR
Stop your croaking, you old crow! (The WOMEN sit him down)
(To LIZ, trying to compose himself) Proceed.
LIZ
Willingly.
(VIDEO CUE: MEDIA SCREEN: PROJECTED IMAGES - OPTIONAL)
LIZ
Throughout the wars, we women have silently endured all you men have done, though we were far from satisfied, for even we could see how things were going. We’d often hear you discussing the latest weaponry, or debating critical alliances and affairs of state. Then, with fearful hearts, but smiling faces, we’d ask, “Did they vote for the Peace Treaty on the Hill today?” And you’d growl, “Mind your own business!” And, “Hold your tongue”; and reluctantly, we would.
SAHARA
I wouldn’t have, not in a million years!
SENATOR
You’d have been silenced with blows then!
LIZ (To SENATOR)
Enough! (Continuing) For my part, I would play along. But then, we discovered you authorized new weapons more fatal and foolish than the last. And I’d ask my husband, “What madness next?” And he’d angrily say, "Keep your mind on your sewing, or your cheeks will burn. War is a man's concern!"
WOMEN
Oh!
SENATOR
Bravo! Well said indeed!
LIZ
How can you say that, you wretched man? It was bad enough putting up with your covert strategies. But, as if that wasn’t enough, we heard you broadcasting and recruiting in the streets, “Are there any men left in the city?” And we assured you, “No, not one, not one,” over, and over again:
WOMEN (Overlapping, echoing LIZ)
“No, not one; not one…No, not one, not one. . .”
LIZ
Then, we women made up our minds to save the Nations. If you open your minds to our wise counsels, and listen for a change, Peace may yet be achieved.
PROJECTIONS: OUT
SENATOR
Peace? This is too much. Silence, you seditious creature. . . Silence!
LIZ
Silence, yourself!
SENATOR
I’d die a thousand deaths before I obey a woman who wears a veil!
LIZ
Heavens, if that’s all that’s troubling you, here, take mine, wrap it round your head, and hold your tongue.
(She unwraps part of her shawl, hands it to a CHORUS person, who begins to “wrap up” the SENATOR)
CALLIE
Yes, and you can have mine, too. Step to, do the laundry, cook the dinner! War’s a woman’s concern!”
(She gets her shawl ready to ‘wrap’ the SENATOR as well)
OLD WOMAN
I’ll never grow weary of this dance!
SAHARA
Brave Lizzie, the tides of fortune are turning for us!
CALLIE (Chants)
HOPE and GRACE CALL US FORTH,
MYA
LOVE GUIDES US ON, NOT VANITY;
CALLIE
OUR MISSION IS:
ALL WOMEN
PEACE, NOW!
SOUTHLAND WOMAN
THAT WE MIGHT SAVE,
ALL WOMEN (Cheering!)
HUMANITY!
OLD WOMAN
The wisdom of women will save the Nations!
LIZ (Ritually, as WOMEN kneel)
SWEET WISDOM, SPARK GENTLE LOVE’S FIRE
THAT WE MAY ENTHRALL OUR MEN’S DESIRES
WITHOUT HARDENING THEIR HEARTS, THAT THEY MAY ADORE
US AS WE RENDER THEM IMPOTENT---FOR WARS…
Then shall women be worthily hailed, “War-BREAKERS—MAKERS of PEACE!”
SENATOR
And how will this come to pass?
LIZ
To begin with, we’ll keep you from speculating like maniacs in the Markets, rabid as beasts, armed to the teeth, pirating profits from lands that you’ve seized. . .
SENATOR
Brave men deserve their rewards.
LIZ
That does not give them leave to manipulate and terrorize our Markets….
CALLIE
…where they only create panic and chaos!
SENATOR
Get to the point! Just tell me how you propose to restore peace and order throughout the lands?
LIZ
That’s the easiest thing in the world!
SENATOR
Really? I couldn’t be more curious.
LIZ
Weaving 101. You see,
(The other WOMEN take off long shawls they have been wearing, and continue to wrap them about SENATOR, as if wrapping a corpse)
PROJECTIONS UP (OPTIONAL)
LIZ
When we’re winding our thread and it gets tangled, we pass the spool through the skein, this way and that, until it’s free. And so, to end the Wars, we’ll send ambassadors throughout the lands, to disentangle matters and restore Peace.
SENATOR
You think to appease bitter enemies with your silly, winding yarn?
(He tries to fight off the WOMEN, pulling off the “threads”)
LIZ
If you had any sense at all, your politics would follow our example.
SENATOR
(Fighting the WOMEN off) How do you mean?
(At a cue from LIZ, the CHORUS delivers more baskets of cloth,
in which to wrap the SENATOR. The WOMEN continue their weaving)
LIZ
First, we’ll inspect and sort the spoiled wool—all those lobbyists with outrageous salaries and bonuses, who provoke the wars—and throw them out! Then we’ll find the ends of each separate thread—the states and nations—and weave them together, creating the blanket of a representative, functional Democracy…which shall cover our lands, and beds, in Peace.
PROJECTIONS OUT
SENATOR
It’s shameful for women to reduce the affairs of State to weaving, you who share
no knowledge of the burdens of War!
LIZ
You disgraceful man! War is a far heavier burden to us than to it is to you. Don’t we bear the children who fight in our armies, far from home?
SENATOR
Enough said! Don’t recall such unhappy memories!
LIZ
And we women, instead of enjoying the pleasures of love and making the best of our youth and beauty, are left to suffer in solitary beds. Still, mothers endure less than our daughters, who, with husbands slain, grow old and lonely--without companions, or kisses, and whose children will forever be deprived of their fathers…
SENATOR
Don’t men grow older as well?
LIZ
Not in the same way. A soldier returning from war quickly finds a young, vibrant woman. But a single mother with fatherless children has far fewer options: few will pay her any attention while she works long days providing for her household.
SENATOR
But if an old man can still do it---
LIZ
You’ll never understand ‘til the day you die!
(The SENATOR is fully wrapped; LIZ taps him lightly, he falls to the ground)
You’re rich! Go buy yourself a coffin!
(The CHORUS hands her a vessel, she pours water—metallic confetti—on him)
MYA (Pours more water on Senator)
Here’s a garland!
CALLIE (Pours still more water)
And another!
LIZ
What more do you lack? Death waits for you, don’t delay!
SENATOR
How humiliating!
LIZ
What? You wish to be laid out in state, according to custom?
(LIZ pushes the SENATOR with her foot, he rolls downstage)
LIZ
Console yourself; we’ll offer the appropriate rituals first thing in the morning.
(EXIT LIZ and WOMEN)
SENATOR
AAAaaaaaarghhhh! (Fighting against his bonds)
I swear, the Military Tribunal will hear about this! (He falls back to the floor, lifeless)
Scene 8: The Men Attempt to Regroup
(OFFICER enters, SL. He doesn’t recognize the SENATOR wrapped up as he is. He begins his speech, puts one foot on the SENATOR, as on a rock)
OFFICER
Awake, Sons of Freedom! The time for action is upon us!
(CORNELIUS ENTERS speedily, followed by SERGEANT and OLD MAN, they cross to the OFFICER)
CORNELIUS (Puts foot on SENATOR)
Sir, I suspect a plot; I’m afraid the Southlanders have persuaded the women to seize our Treasury!
SERGEANT (Puts foot on SENATOR)
This whole thing is nothing less than an attempt to re-establish a Dictatorship!
OFFICER
Are we going to put up with this?
(Aroused at last, SENATOR angrily rises, the MEN go flying)
SENATOR
NO! Men, it’s outrageous that these women are running around half-cocked, interfering in our Wars!
OFFICER
Sir, they’ve shamefully allied themselves with the Southlanders, who are as trustworthy as starved wolves!
(Helps SENATOR up)
SENATOR (Rises)
We must be on our guard, fully armed, anticipating their actions.
MEN
YEAH!
(The cries of the MEN have drawn the attention of CALLIE, OLD WOMAN, MYA, SOUTHLAND WOM, who have crept on, SR)
OLD MAN (Sees OLDWOMAN)
I‘ll post myself in the public square, shoulder to shoulder with Cornelius;
And, to get things started, I’ll crush a few of that cursed hag’s teeth over there.
OLD WOMAN
Playing the hero, are you? When you get home, your own mother won’t know you!
CORNELIUS
You haven’t the strength to overcome us!
CALLIE
Perhaps not, but our wisdom can transform you…
OLD WOMAN
You foolish men have wasted the treasure of our forefathers, amassed from wars gone by, and pay nothing in taxes towards our mounting deficits, endangering our liberties with your warrior agenda!
SOUTHLAND WOMAN
But we pay our fair share of taxes to the State,
WOMEN
Yes, we pay them!
MYA
When we send our sons to war! But you miserable cadavers, you contribute .
(TOGETHER)
OLD WOMAN: Nothing . . .
SL WOMAN: Nothing ….but LOSS!
CALLIE
DEATH!
MYA
DESTRUCTION!
CALLIE
Have you even one word to say for yourselves?
(OLD MAN starts to speak up, OLD WOMAN stops him short)
OLD WOMAN
Don’t you even start in with me, or you’ll see stars!
SERGEANT
This is appalling!
SENATOR
Whoever’s got the balls, assault them!
OFFICER
If we give in, it’s all over!
SENATOR
Courage, I say; if we fail to contain them here, they’ll build ships to harass us by sea! We must collar these rebellious squawks!
OLD MAN
Your brazenness knows no bounds!
OLD WOMAN
I swear, if you anger me, you’ll soon be wailing for help!
MYA
I dare you to pit your strength against ours!
SOUTHLAND WOMAN
You can’t hurt us, you . . . aberrations of men!
CALLIE
One step closer, and you’ll regret you met us!
(There is a skirmish between the WOMEN and MEN. The MEN are chased off. The OFFICER remains, comes face to face with his wife, CALLIE, and nearly hits her, but drops his arm in shame…she chases him off, he cowers in the shadows, opposite, wounded at heart. WOMEN retreat, OFF. CALLIE lingers in the shadows, opposite OFFICER, reluctant to leave.)
Scene 9: Abstinence Begins to Take its Toll
(CHORUS comes forward)
OFFICER
Hardhearted woman! Would you unman me?
(OFFICER hangs his head in grief. CALLIE looks at him from afar)
PROJECTIONS UP (optional)
CHORUS (CHANTS/sings) Wherever you go
(F—female CHORUS, with CALLIE; M—Male CHORUS, with OFFICER)
F: WHEREVER YOU GO, WILL I BE WITH YOU?
M: WHEREVER I GO, WILL YOU BE THERE TOO?
F: WHEREVER YOU LIE, WILL I LIE BESIDE YOU?
F/M: WHEREVER I GO, WILL I BE WITHOUT YOU?
F/M:OUR LOVE WAS ONCE STRONGER THAN DEATH,
NO TORRENT COULD SILENCE OUR LOVE;
F: NOW THE HURT THAT I FEEL, I CANNOT CONCEAL FROM YOU
M:BECAUSE I’M WITHOUT YOU…
F: WHEREVER YOU GO, WILL I BE WITH YOU?
M: WHEREVER I GO, WILL YOU BE THERE TOO?
F: WHEREVERYOU LIE, WILL I LIE BESIDE YOU?
F/M:WHEREVER I GO, WILL I BE WITHOUT YOU?
M: WILL I BE WITH,
F:OR, WITHOUT …..
F/M: …..YOU?
OFFICER (OFFICER shakes out of his reverie)
Wake up! And shed this rage;
CALLIE
Embrace the PEACE!.....
OFFICER
…no more wars to wage? (He EXITS)
(LIZ ENTERS, US, above, in dim light observing CALLIE, below)
CALLIE
How can I get through to you? You……you……MAN!
(CALLIE sees no response, begins to exit opposite, then follows him OFF) OH!!!
strong>Scene 10: Complications
(LIZ sighs. SAHARA, MYA, OLD WOMAN ENTER, behind LIZ)
OLD WOMAN
Brave Lizzie, why are you so distraught?
LIZ
Oh. . .the frailty of the female heart.
SAHARA
What in the world do you mean?
LIZ
The behavior of these foolish women! (Refers to CALLIE, who just EXITED)
MYA
What’s happened? Come, your friends can bear it.
LIZ
It’s so difficult to tell—yet impossible to conceal!
OLD WOMAN
You must reveal any peril that threatens our cause.
LIZ
The women are….horny! I simply can’t keep them from lusting after the men! They want to desert, because they all want. . . dessert! One was just fleeing when I stopped her in her tracks; another lowered herself over the walls by a rope and pulley. The most recent truant slipped out after her husband. One by one, they’re all concocting ways to go home.
(Below, WOMAN 1 crosses R to L, quickly, furtively, downstage)
Look! There goes another,. . . (She rises and calls to WOMAN 1) Hold on! Where are you off to so fast?
(As LIZ speaks, MYA and SAHARA corner WOMAN 1)
WOMAN 1
I’ve got to go home! I left the laundry damp in a pile! It will mold if it’s not ….
LIZ
Bah! Forget about it! Return to your post!
WOMAN 1
I swear I’ll return as soon as I’ve spread it out….
LIZ
You won’t be spreading out anything! You’re not going anywhere.
WOMAN 1
Must it be spoiled, then?
LIZ
Yes, and your desire too, if need be.
(MYA takes WOMAN 1 aside, hands her over to CHORUS, who guards her. Meanwhile, SAHARA has run offstage, L, brings WOMAN 2, complaining, C)
WOMAN 2
But I’ve left my beds unwashed and unstripped!
SAHARA
Here’s another defector, fleeing our noble cause!
WOMAN 2
Oh, I swear I’ll come right back the instant I’m done!
(SAHARA sends WOMAN 2 to MYA, who hands her over to the CHORUS)
LIZ
There’ll be no stripping at your house today! If I let one of you go, all the others will follow. It’s plain to see you want your men. But don’t you think they want you just as badly? Believe me, they’re suffering just as dreadfully as you! Courage, my dears, hold on! With a little more time, the victory will be ours, and your men will be home soon enough! We will succeed, but only if we stay united in our purpose. Remember these words of warning:
(LIZ turns FF, extends arms, as if in a trance, while CHORUS chants)
CHORUS (chants) WARNING
WHEN ALL THE SWALLOWS FLEE BEFORE
THE WAR BIRDS FLOCKED AS ONE,
AND FROM AMOR RESTRAIN THEMSELVES
THEN WILL THEIR PLEASURE COME, IN WAVES
THUNDERING THROUGH THE SKIES
EXALTING CRIES BELOW;
YET, IF DISSENSION DOES ARISE
AND THE SWALLOWS RETURN HOME,
THEIR RECKLESS FLIGHT WILL LEAVE THEM
SCARRED, BARREN, AND ALONE.
WOMAN 2
This is all useless!
WOMAN 1
We’ll never see our husbands again!
SAHARA
Don’t let this get you down, girls.
OLD WOMAN
Bravely bear your burdens!
MYA
It would be unwise to ignore these warnings. . .
LIZ
Take heart, for better or for worse, we’re all in this together!
(EXIT LIZ, MYA, SAHARA with WOMEN 1-2, R;
OLD WOMAN hears OLD MAN, who ENTERS, and hangs back to watch him)
Scene 11: Frustration
(The OLD MAN enters, L, searching, calling for his wife)
OLD MAN
‘kita, ….’kita I can’t go on any longer? Where are you, my love, my darling, my ‘kitaaaaaa?
(To Audience, tearfully) When I was a lad, I knew a young man who feared the thought of marriage so much that he fled as far away from civilization as possible. He ended up in the mountains, built a stronghold, survived on berries, fish and rabbits, and lived in filth. And he never, ever came back because of his fear of women. And now, in this current enforcement of chastity, we miss, but loathe the traitors just as much as he did! …..(Gets up, begins to walk off, then calls) ‘kita…
(OLD WOMAN enters. From a distance)
OLD WOMAN
Poor baby!
OLD MAN (dries his tears)
What a sore for these sightless eyes! Don’t you have just one kiss for an old man?
OLD WOMAN (Stalks him)
You’d just start crying again!
OLD MAN (Crouches)
Well, then. . .you’d prefer a sound beating?
(Facing off, they circle around)
OLD WOMAN
I don’t think so…(She pulls at his beard) What beastly fur!
OLD MAN
All the better to terrify my foes!
(He tries to jab her, she trips, falls on her backside; they are profile to audience)
OLD WOMAN
I once knew a man, a real tough customer. . . a true Man o’ War, his face, like yours, glaring out of its scrappy hedge. After vomiting a thousand useless curses, he became a hermit because he couldn’t abide the corruption of men, but he was very tender towards women! (She puts her feet up, defensively) So what do you say, you really want to take me on?
OLD MAN
I’m not a bit afraid of you!
OLD WOMAN
So, you’re asking for a good kick?
OLD MAN
(He lunges at her) Then I’d see your crusty backside!
(She rolls to the side, US, he crashes ingloriously)
OLD WOMAN
And you’d see, despite my age, it’s very well attended!
(She brushes her hands off, laughing at him, while the CHORUS picks him up and tosses him offstage, L)
***********
to be continued...