From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
And now for something completely different…
I think it's high time we all shared in The Collected Wisdom of Pat Robertson together. Via Kimmel:
Amazingly, he still has lots of followers. Or, as he call them: "God's little ATMs."
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Note: For a complete list of Supreme Court justices who have not shown up drunk at a State of the Union address, please send us a self-addressed stamped envelope and we'll return it to you empty.
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12 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til
Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens:
304
Days 'til the
Zilker Kite Festival in Austin:
12
Rank of Vermont, Florida, DC and Maine among states/district with the highest percent of ACA signups among indivisuals:
#1, #2, #3, #4
(Source: Kaiser Family Foundation)
Amount hackers have quietly stolen from at least 100 banks in 30 countries:
$1 billion
(Source: AP)
Percent chance that John Boehner is okay with defunding the Department of Homeland Security over President Obama's unrelated immigration executive order:
100%
(Source: John Boehner)
Pairs of baby shoes bronzed per day at the American Bronzing Co., down from 2,000 in the 70s:
100
Percent chance that sales are ticking up again due to nostalgia fueled by social media:
100%
(Source: AP)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
“Wanker” is British-origin slang brought over to the USA referring to one who jerks off. Is this really the level of discourse that we’ve come to here at HA?
I know we like to joke and snark and such in the comment section, and it’s fun to take things lightly here and there, but what exactly does this add to anything? Especially when it comes from a notorious troll for whom the word “wanker” is the only new addition to the same stupid crap posted repeatedly in every thread. How is this appropriate? We are not Kos.
---Commenter "Gingotts" at Hot Air
All together now: 1…2…3…
Wanker!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: The Westminster Dog Show wraps up tonight. Here's their pics page. (CoughGoLabsGoCough)
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CHEERS to blessed silence. Congress is on vacation this week. Democrats will spend their time serving constituents in their districts on a variety of issues. Republicans will spend theirs trying to untie their shoelaces.
JEERS to having energy to burn. In addition to the five oil- and gas-related explosions in the last month or so, you can add these to the list:
A beautiful sight for people who like
to read by the light of a burning oil train.
[In West Virginia], Photos from the scene have shown thick, black smoke and fireballs shooting hundreds of feet into the sky. “At least one, possibly more, rail cars have gone into the Kanawha River,” Messina said. […]
[And] Canadian National Railway Co. shut its main line linking western and eastern Canada after an eastbound train carrying crude oil derailed in Ontario. … A total of 29 cars were involved in the incident and seven caught fire. The remaining 71 cars were moved from the site, Waldron said. Some oil was spilled.
Officials say they're completely prepared for disasters like this. Teams in hard hats were immediately dispatched to the scene, and a spokesman says they've been pointing, scratching their chins and making frowny faces for several hours now.
CHEERS to legal libations. On this date in 1933, the U.S. Senate, clearly possessed by Satan and probably under the influence of the demon reefer, passed the Blaine Act, which led to the 22nd Amendment repealing the 18th Amendment. The result: liquor was legal again by the following December. If my sources are correct, the eggnog tasted particularly good that year.
You know we can see you, right?
JEERS to action plans that are doomed to fail. Points to brooklynbadboy for his
suggestion yesterday on how Democrats can bring down scumbot John Boehner for using Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu's planned speech to a joint session of Congress March 3rd as a way to undermine President Obama's negotiations with Iran. It's definitely something to consider. But, speaking for myself, I don't give it a snowball's chance in Alaska of happening, because bbb's plan requires that….
Democrats should be united and unequivocal
I'll buy him a sixpack of whatever he wants if this comes to pass. But until then I gotta go with the 80-year-old words of Will Rogers: "I don’t belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat."
JEERS to another icon blowing this popsicle stand. The world is a little less kitschy today. Lesley Gore died:
According to her partner of 33 years, Gore died Monday of cancer at New York-Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan. Brooklyn-born and New Jersey-raised, Gore was discovered by Quincy Jones as a teenager and signed to Mercury Records. Gore's other hits include "She's A Fool," "That's the Way Boys Are" and "Maybe I Know." She co-wrote with her brother, Michael, the Academy Award-nominated "Out Here On My Own" from the film "Fame."
It's my blog post and I'll cry if I want to.
CH/JEERS to reaping the fruits of our labor test tubes. A common annoyance prevalent in a common fruit is being dealt with:
more brown vs. less brown.
We have good news for all of you who find browned apple slices unappetizing. It's bad news, though, if you don't like scientists fiddling with your food. The U.S. Department of Agriculture has given a green light to apples that have been genetically modified so that they don't turn brown when you cut them open.
The genes are actually extra copies of genes that apples already possess, and as a result, the genes are "silenced:" They no longer produce the enzyme that's responsible
for apple flesh turning brown when it's exposed to air.
The news is prompting mixed reactions. Giving it a thumbs-down: critics of GMOs. Giving it a thumbs-up: the Ku Klux Klan. (And the group Aryan Nation gives it its highest rating: 10 Sieg Heils.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 17, 2005
JEERS to sleeping in the silo. In the latest test of the Star Wars defense system, an interceptor missile failed to make it off the launch pad "for the second time in two months." Meaning that, despite all the billions we've spent, our best defense against intercontinental ballistic missiles is still...the underside of a desk.
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And just one more…
JEERS to weekend wankers. A little retro-hilarity here. Here's a David Brooks moment I found from half a dozen years back that rivals his famous Applebee's salad bar remark. This is from his appearance on The Chris Matthews Show:
Proof that Obama visits factories...
and that David Brooks is an idjit.
Responding to Chris Matthews' question, "[W]ill Barack Obama's oratorical ability on the lectern in front of big rooms continue to be his winning edge?" The New York Times' David Brooks said: "Yes, but he's got to get away from colleges. Go visit a factory for once." In fact, Obama delivered what his campaign called a "major economic policy address" at a Wisconsin General Motors factory a few days before Brooks made his comment.
It's just a little reminder of why you should always pick your pundits carefully. My rule: stick to the ones who don’t make shit up.
Oh, and today is Random Act of Kindness Day. You can just leave the Bacardi on my doorstep. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I think Mars One will definitely generate a lot of interest in Bill in Portland Maine going to Mars. NASA and all humankind have shown an interest in getting him to go to Mars since this project started."
---Maggie Lieu
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