I am a statistician and TeXnician, but in my copious free time, I also hold the local High Priest of Zeus (tm) franchise.
As the High Priest, I have several responsibilities. These are extensively discussed below the Sacred Scar of the Stroke of Lightening.
As High Priest (TM), I have several responsibilities:
1) I must pick a bull, pure white and without blemish
2) On the stroke of midnight, on the night of the Summer Solstice, I must sacrifice that Bull with the Sacred Knife of Zeus (see catalog attached)
3) The blood is used for specific rituals, that you, a Godless Unbeliever, are not allowed to know about. Suffice it to say that it involves drinking, debauchery, and fun, but is a Ritual. It is A REQUIREMENT.
So, with the Cult of Zeus, we must perform the sacrifice. If we do not, there will be a drought (currently there is a vacancy in Sacremento, San Jose, and several other California locales; OH YE UNBELIEVERS, HEED MY WORDS!!!).
So, the question is, where must the sacrifice be performed?
Why, naturally, in a place of power. Like the Senate chamber of the State of XX (again, this depends on the location of your franchise).
Of course, this is a RELIGIOUS REQUIREMENT. We MUST perform this sacrifice, and we must drain the blood, and we must leave the dead bull there for 48 hours. Part of the ritual involves the decomposition of the bull. We study the process. As it decomposes, gases are released - these are examined. We examine the liver and spleen. We also do a microarray analysis of the fecal load - this is a recent innovation, but provides a lot more information about the meaning of the bull and the likelihood of specific events. We have found that specific microorganisms are associated with events, and the relative frequency of the microorganisms is important in predicting both WHEN and HOW likely the events are. We lay the feces out in little piles and randomly sample (that's the strength of being both a Statistician and a High Priest - I have the random sample part set up as a program).
The 1st Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America states "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;" - this religion, which I hold a strong and absolute belief in, must not be impeded.
So, the point is, the new laws in Indiana and Arkansas are going to be extremely handy. Because if you try to stop me, I'll sue your atheistic ass off. And I will have Mike Pense, Governor of Indiana, right behind me, helping me out with my religious use of the legal system.