Might as well get this out of the way.
The way Republicans hate Hillary is pretty close to the way they hate women generally. The way they hate taxes. The way they used to hate The Commies before they found they could make a buck off China. The way they hate it that they can't say "nxxxxx" any more.
They sincerely hate that last one.
They squeal that Hillary is a liar. That she responds to getting caught lying with more lying. That she hates ordinary Americans. That she doesn't understand how horribly bad democracy/government is. That she wants all the wrong people to vote. Maybe, eventually, that she didn't give birth to Chelsea.
Then There's The Story of Sox. You see... Sox was a cat. The White House cat.
The Interview. /snark
Below the orange muff........
"She Left Me For Dead !"
I've taken to wearing my fur long just so that I can lick it over the scars from all the flying lamps." Some speculate that acquiring a cat was just a political move on Hillary's part to soften her shrewish image. Socks concurs. "When the cameras were on, it was all cream & tuna, plenty of scratching behind the ears, nuzzling, cooing... she'd fuss over me like I was a Chinese campaign donor. But behind closed doors, nothing but screaming and spray bottles. And they weren't always filled with water, either. I used to think that 'piss & vinegar' was just a figure of speech. Now I know better."
Socks assumed that once his tenure as a "personality prop" ended with the Bush inauguration, he'd be set for life. "Sure, I was abused a lot, but I figured that it was just the stress of having such a high public profile. Once we were out of the White House, I thought she'd HAVE to lay off me. Maybe start beating on that professional puddle-maker, Buddy."
His prediction was frighteningly wrong.
"About a week after we left," said Socks, chain-smoking and looking around the room nervously, "I found out that Buddy had an 'accident.' 'Ran into the road' they said. My ass! Buddy was deathly afraid of ANY loud noise. Piddled himself during every thunderstorm. Never seen him get within a hundred feet of traffic without sprinkling the lawn in terror. He HAD to have been pushed."
"As for me, yeah, well, I was a little nervous after that."
His anxiety turned out to be justified. "About 2 weeks after that, Hillary put me in the car. Said we were going to the park to 'chase some chipmunks'. Sounded like fun. Until I saw the sign that said Fort Marcy Park. I just KNEW at that point she was going to 'Foster' me."
"As soon as she opened the car door," said Socks, his voice starting to crack as he recollected the trauma, "I gave her four sharp ones across the nose and just started running. I never looked back. I heard a couple gunshots and my tail felt like it was on fire. She winged me a good one. So much blood. Broke the 12th and 13th caudal vertebrae, but it wasn't life-threatening. She searched around for a while, but she must've seen the blood & figured I was dead."
"I hid in the park for a couple days," continued Socks, "then made my way to Bettie's house. I always liked her. Seemed like she always had a couple ounces of some primo green leafy on her. I heard she grew the stuff in her back yard."
"Never had a better catnip connection."
"Anyway, she took me in and we've been together ever since."
Some believe that Socks brought the trouble on himself, but he denies the rumors. "Yeah, I may have crapped in her shoes once, but that was just payback for the time when she found me playing with a pair of Monica's panties and tasered me."
"As for the 'pillow-peeing incidents,'" Socks concluded, "that was absolutely Bill. He'd wet-head the bitch in her sleep every time she wouldn't give him some and then blame it on me."
- - - - - - - - - - -
Harvey the Rabbit
anonymous blog
University College London
When the Clintons left the White House, they gave "Sox the Cat" to Betty Currie. With all the alterations scheduled for the new house in New York State, that made sense.
The Clintons travel a lot.
But of course this had to be blown up to generate a media event. The text appeared first in an anonymous posting at UC London. No idea who wrote it.
And if this souffle/parody gets you riled, think twice about living on Planet Earth come 2016.
This is a kiss on the cheek compared to what's coming.