News Item: The USGS announces that man-made earthquakes are on the rise as oil, gas and fracking efforts are found to be the cause of these potential disasters.
GOP Response: The GOP leadership announced plans to defund the USGS. They (and their ALEC/Koch masters) believe that no news will be good news.
News Item: NASA's earth watching satellites confirm that global warming is a fact, and that it is accelerating. Damage to low-lying areas around the globe are already posing threats to millions.
GOP Response: The GOP leadership announced new funding guidelines, precluding NASA from ever viewing the earth for signs of global climate change.
News Item: Wisconsin's higher education took a huge body blow, as tax cuts for the rich were paid for by funds intended for the state's once vaunted and admired university system.
GOP Response: Gov. Walker ordered all college professors to teach at least 4 classes each semester, even while cutting their budget by $300,000,000. Wisconsin professors average working 61 hour weeks, including research, writing, teaching, mentoring, and other scholarly activities.
News Item: Louisiana's colleges and universities face a budget cut of 82%, in order to pay for millionaires' and corporate tax breaks a la ALEC and Koch Bros. LSU is preparing documents to file with bankruptcy court shortly, because it cannot afford to stay open under the present artificially created funding problems.
GOP Response: Fuck you.
News Item: Kansas will be closing its schools early, due to the unprecedented loss of revenue, as Gov. Brownback rewarded political pals, millionaires, billionaires and corporations with huge tax cuts.
GOP Response: Fuck you.
News Item: Death by Cop is rapidly becoming one of the leading causes of death among yute of color. Smartphone videos are repeatedly showing police to be liars, thugs, and murderers - often for minimal or minor offenses or transgressions.
GOP Response: Texas legislator proposes new bill: Outlaw all video of police doing their jobs. By making it a crime to video a cop, the rate of police violence should drop.
News Item: McDonald's profits dropped another 33% as customers shy away from crappy fast food and move to more healthy choices.
McDonald's response: We are going green and will no longer destroy millions of acres of pristine forests to operate our stores!
Customers' response: You mean that you will be using less wood in your burgers? That would a nice first step. But, what about using real meat, instead?
News Item: Recent economic changes in Kansas, brought on by the wrong-headed legislative moves taken by Gov. Brownback, have brought utter destruction to Kansas' middle and lower classes. Employment rates are one of the lowest in the nation, putting lie to Brownback's "Economic Revolution" that he stole from Ayn Rand, Scott Brown, and Scott Walker.
Kansas' response: Ban the poor from using public swimming pools. Ban them from going to the movies. Prevent them from getting more than $25 per day, even if they have a family of six to feed.