In the best news any of us will hear all week, Sen. Lindsey Graham has announced that he'll be announcing a run for presidency. Mark your calendars for
June 1.
“I’m running because of what you see on television, I’m running because I think the world is falling apart, I’ve been more right than wrong on foreign policy,” he said on “CBS This Morning,” when asked if he was running because he was unimpressed with the rest of the field [...]
And he's already got a campaign slogan. Expect
Lindsey Graham: He's been more right than wrong bumper stickers to hit the streets by next week.
What does Graham bring to the race? He's most known as John McCain's regular stand-in on the Sunday shows; if for some reason John McCain is unavailable to talk about how the world is a dangerous place and the current president is doing everything wrong, Lindsey Graham will be released from his kennel to be the "serious" senatorial foreign policy wonk. His views on foreign policy are not much different from crazy person and fellow senator Ted Cruz, mind you: He just has serious credentials. He's one of the old guard, and therefore serious.
The senator added that he was also weighing a run both because he wanted to take on “radical Islam” and because he wanted to promote more bipartisanship.
Serious is what you get when you combine the demand to do more about
radical Islam, as two-word phrase, with a plea for "bipartisanship," by which we mean the old, more serious bipartisanship of the Bush administration, a time when you were free to be as bipartisan as you wanted in agreeing with a Republican president's foreign policy and if you didn't agree you would have all the other
serious politicians and pundits calling you a traitor. That's what Ted Cruz lacks, and why Lindsey Graham will crush him like a—oh, who are we kidding. Graham will be lucky to make it past the first two debates.
In other news from people who will never, ever be president, Bobby Jindal has formed an exploratory committee to explore whether he, too, wants to run for president. He's pretty sure he does, but we won't know for certain until the committee tells him whether or not there are any American one percenters out there willing to bankroll his vanity run. Jindal has been positioning himself as a policy wonk for approximately forever, speaking out against stupid Republicans, Obamacare, and "volcano monitoring."