The son of friends of my mother was six years old when I first baby sat for them. He could not sit up or control the movements of his head. He never would. He would never crawl, stand, walk, feed himself, or run outside to play. He would never be able to ride a bike, play a video game, try out for sports, or learn how to drive a car. He would never be able to hug his parents and tell them he loved them. He would always have the brain function of a three month old, no matter what birthday arrived - the 12th or 58th.
It was heartbreaking. And I was only an occasional baby sitter. What his parents were and would deal with, beggared mind and heart. At some point they were going to need far more help than a teenage babysitter could provide. At some point he would become too big for his mom to lift. At some point, the physical demands of his care would become larger than their hearts. At some point the constant heartbreak would become too much to bear. All the broken dreams of what he could have been, should have been, would pile up as each milestone passed, as the exhaustion of each day grew larger.
Eventually they had to place him in a specialized care facility. That was the last I heard of them. I think they moved shortly thereafter, away from memories of all the shattered dreams of children and family. I don't know if they found the infinite courage to try to have another child. Wouldn't blame them if they never did. Some risks are more than heart and soul can bear. I never knew what the little boy's diagnosis was. There's a long list of things that can go wrong with a fetus. Today, I've been thinking about him and his parents. Reading what Republican Legislators in Ohio and other states have been up to brought the family vividly to life again.
Ohio Lawmakers Weigh Anti-Choice Bill Banning Abortions Due to Down Syndrome Diagnosis Ohio lawmakers raised questions and concerns about a bill to ban abortion after a Down syndrome diagnosis, during a committee hearing last week. Sponsored by Rep. Sarah LaTourette (R-Bainbridge Township), HB 135 would make it a felony to perform an abortion on a pregnant person who “is seeking the abortion solely because” of a fetal Down syndrome diagnosis. The House Community and Family Advancement Committee held a hearing on the bill last week, and took witness testimony from seven proponents of the legislation. No testimony was taken from opponents....
Of course it wasn't. It's not the first time Ohio Legislators have proposed such bills. It won't be the last. There have already been "seven bills to ban abortion due to genetic anomalies introduced in state legislatures this year, and none have been passed." Texas, Indiana, Missouri, North Dakota, and South Dakota have also attempted to ban abortions due to the "severe and irreversible abnormality" of the fetus.
An estimated 276 000 babies die within 4 weeks of birth every year, worldwide, from congenital anomalies. Congenital anomalies can result in long-term disability, which may have significant impacts on individuals, families, health-care systems and societies. The most common severe congenital anomalies are heart defects, neural tube defects and Down syndrome. Although congenital anomalies may be genetic, infectious, nutritional or environmental in origin, most often it is difficult to identify the exact causes. Some congenital anomalies can be prevented. For example, vaccination, adequate intake of folic acid or iodine through fortification of staple foods or provision of supplements, and adequate antenatal care are keys for prevention.
I keep thinking about the twisted hypocrisy of those who claim moral virtue for denying choice to women - all in the name of the "child." Republicans do so while attacking prenatal care, health care, schools, special needs programs, and the tattered remains of our "safety net" for our most vulnerable people. They are the last to be there for children like the son of my mother's friends. They are the last to be there for parents who are grieving the loss of dreams while enduring desperate realities. They are the first to use their twisted morality to impose unnecessary pain and suffering. I keep remembering the weight of the six year old in my arms. I keep remembering the drool wiped from his face and the diapers changed. I keep remembering the movements of his head as he struggled for control, a control he would never have. I keep remembering a six year old boy's three month old smile. I keep thinking of the quiet sorrow his parents carried and those like them - the parents Ohio Legislators and so many others, don't want to hear.
