From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Modern-day Things To Do with a Confederate Flag
Burn it
Shred it
Bury it
That's better.
Use it as toilet paper
Or a cleaning rag
Or a snot rag
Sop up cat barf
Or dog barf
Or, really, any kind of barf
Make it a puppy training pad
Or a single-use disposable cloth diaper
Or a Birdcage liner
Use it as a prop in a permanently-disappearing Confederate flag magic act.
Make it an exhibit in a "disgusting chapter in American history" museum wing
Unravel each strand and stitch them back together to form a real American flag.
Paint it white as a reminder of what happened to the original slavery-loving confederate flag wavers.
Or, as John Oliver suggested last night: "Lower the flag down to half-staff. And then, when it's at half-staff, why not keep lowering it all the way down? And once you're holding it in your hands, take it off the flag pole completely, fold it---or don’t bother---put it in a box, label it 'Bad Flag,' and put it where no one can see it."
Golly. Who knew it could be so versatile?
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, June 22, 2015
Note: I know the perfect way to get conservatives to turn against bigotry, racism, austerity and hating on women. Just tell 'em that bigotry, racism, austerity and hating on women are good for the environment.
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5 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Independence Day:
12
Days 'til the
New Castle County Ice Cream Festival in Wilmington, Delaware:
5
The last time McDonald's closed more stores in the U.S. than it opened, as is happening this year:
1970
Rise in consumer prices in May, up from 0.1% in April:
0.4%
(Source: Labor Dept.)
Per-watt cost of having a solar panel on a roof in Maine 20 years ago:
$70
Per-watt cost today:
$2.60-$3.00
(Source: Sen. Angus King)
Minimum number of KKK chapters around the country:
160
(Source: Southern Poverty Law Center)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Summer!!!
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CHEERS to being born! A hearty "Happy Birthday and many blessings on your camels" to Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, who turns [hffrrhffrrhrrr] today. Republicans fought tooth and nail to keep her from getting elected to the seat once occupied by the mighty Ted Kennedy, and it's easy to see why: her brains, common sense and willingness to expose the banksters as the scum-sucking vampire squids they are have made her the ideological North Star for the Democratic party and a huge swath of independents. And she sure as shit ain't afraid to challenge the president when he deserves it, like on the TPP deal that has disaster written all over it:
Long may she do that senate thing she does.
President Obama [claims] that the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) will be “the most progressive trade bill in history” and that it will have “higher labor standards, higher environmental standards,” and “new tools to hold countries accountable.”
“Supporters of past trade agreements have said again and again that these deals would include strong protections for workers, but assurances without strong enforcement are just empty promises,” Senator Warren said. "The facts show that, despite all the promises, these trade deals were just another tool to tilt the playing field in further of multinational corporations and against working families.”
As the "Fast Track" measure passed last week in the House moves to the Senate, she'll have her work cut out for her to scuttle it. In the meantime, we hope she has a happy birthday, and that she enjoys the Scott Brown
"bqhatevwr" sweatshirt we got her.
Let's hope SCOTUS leaves these
assholes crying in their delusion.
CHEERS and/or
JEERS to a couple more hours of holding our collective breath. It's Monday in late June and you know what that means: it's another Supreme Court judgment day! As always, the best place to get the fastest results and early analysis is SCOTUSblog, either at their
website or
twitter feed. Today's rulings will be handed down starting at 10, and they may include pronouncements on gay marriage, Obamacare subsidies, lethal injection, eminent domain rights following an invasion by space aliens, whose turn it is to drop off the SCOTUS robes at the dry cleaners, and whether or not "the butler did it." Also today: Thomas, Scalia, Roberts, Kennedy and Alito agree to take back their decision to install Jeb Bush as president after Ginsburg, Sotomayor, Kagan and Breyer agree to release them from their wedgies.
FDR signs the G.I. Bill.
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CHEERS to supporting the troops. 71 years ago today, President Roosevelt---he of the super-awesome
Democratic Party---
signed the G.I. Bill of Rights:
Although World War II was far from over, FDR was determined to plan ahead for a smooth transition to peace, both abroad and at home. The President proposed to Congress a way to level the economic impact of the war’s end and to integrate returning veterans back into American society.
It rewarded servicemen for their sacrifices with low-cost loans, educational subsidies and other benefits. Kind of like what Jeb Bush's biological and ideological brother George W. Bush wanted to do for servicemembers during
his presidency...
minus the low-cost loans, educational subsidies and other benefits. (But double the deployments!)
JEERS to Slick Joe. The Pope released his encyclical---essentially a document containing direct orders from God---outlining the dangers of climate change and what good people of faith must do to stop treating earth like a disposable garbage dump. Naturally the Republicans are expending copious amounts of CO2 calling it a big nothingburger. Check out who gets quoted first:
“I don’t want to be disrespectful, but I don’t consider him an expert on environmental issues,” said Texas Rep. Joe Barton, a senior Republican on the Energy and Commerce Committee, in a comment echoed by others in his party.
Yes…
this Joe Barton from 2010:
He'll be taking the 'down' elevator.
At this morning's hearing with BP CEO Tony Hayward, Rep. Joe Barton (R-Tex.) went so far as to apologize to the oil company for what he called a "shake down" on the part of the Obama administration to get the company to establish a $20 billion fund to compensate Gulf coast residents [suffering from damage caused by the Deepwater Horizon oil catastrophe]. … "I apologize---I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong it is subject to political pressure that amounts to a shake down," Barton continued.
Pope Francis reminded him that people in positions of authority who contribute to the destruction of God's green earth risk spending the afterlife in a hellish place where there's a lake of fire burning for eternity. Responded Barton: "A place with no government safety regulations, eh? Sounds more like heaven to me."
JEERS to punishment via dumbstick. And then there's this little bit of scientific wankery, courtesy of the Catholic Church of yore. On June 22, 1633, Galileo Galilei was told that he had to "abjure, curse, and detest" his view that the earth revolved around the sun. Let's review the church's decree, shall we?
What the world revolves
around in this guy's head.
The proposition that the Sun is the center of the world and does not move from its place is absurd and false philosophically and formally heretical, because it is expressly contrary to Holy Scripture.
The proposition that the Earth is not the center of the world and immovable but that it moves, and also with a diurnal motion, is equally absurd and false philosophically and theologically considered at least erroneous in faith.
It took the Vatican over 350 years to admit their heads revolved around their asses. But they had a very good reason why: they were, like, busy with stuff.
Spieth made a miracle save
out of this cupcake hazard.
CHEERS to a major nailbiter. Chambers Bay Golf Club in Washington state---a course that appeared to be basically concrete spray-painted brown and green---was the site of exciting
U.S. Open golf action yesterday, and C&J was there to witness it (i.e. on our living room couch watching it on TV). The winner of the Pabst Blue Ribbon Mega Big Gulp Cup (and a $1.8 million purse, which sounds like a really overpriced purse to me...I probably would've just taken the cash): 23-year-old Masters Champ Jordan Spieth. Once again, officials estimated the number of sober spectators shouting
"GET IN DA HOLE!!!!!!" at zero. Next major: the British Open, where all the sand traps have a stiff upper lip.
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 22, 2005
JEERS to that odious stench. Yesterday a silly smear book on Hillary Clinton was released. Joe Conason got an advance copy and tells you what you need to know to debunk this garbage. There is a facts-only version available from Amazon. Just click on the button marked "leaflets."
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And just one more…
A pic by legendmn: the rainbow flag
winds its way down the parade route.
CHEERS to swishing toward Gomorrah. The 30-somethingth annual Pride Parade wound its way through the streets of Portland, Maine Saturday. The route was packed as a record 77 groups passed by the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd. As we always do, Michael and I, accompanied by Kossack Simple, marched with the local chapter of PFLAG, and you can check out some media coverage of the parade with pics
here and
here. Making it extra-special this year was spending time at the festival with Kossack legendmn, who was visiting from Minneapolis. But not everything was perfect. The weather was sunny and 73 with a light breeze, but we'd specifically requested that it be 75. Clearly God hates us.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Cheers and Jeers, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth."
---Pope Francis
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