Real estate mogul and presidential candidate Donald Trump, in an attempt to rescue his television show, “The Apprentice”, is airing a one-time special during which he will choose a running mate. Sources say he has financed the project himself. “I am really, really rich.” Mr. Trump explained, “And I don’t want any more stupid people in the White House.”
On the losing team were an array of Republican governors and senators. In a statement to the press, New Jersey’s Governor Chris Christie claimed he was invited, but declined the offer. “The Donald and I are good friends, although we didn’t go to high school together, but the people of New Jersey love me too much to let me go.”
Highlights included Ted Cruz reading excerpts from Dr. Seuss, prompting objections from Ms. Palin who said she, "wasn't expectin any of this gotcha stuff." Governor Rick Perry tried to read the book without his glasses in an attempt to debunk the notion the glasses were there to make him look smart. “One Fish...Two Fish…give me a minute. I can’t…” he muttered.
The winner remains unknown, but sources tell us members of the winning team included the heads of several major NY mob families, a bankruptcy attorney, Joe Scarborough, and his hair dresser.
Trump denied rumors that Bernie Madoff was being considered as a possible choice for vice president "My people are stupid. They don't mind me calling them stupid, by the way, because the love me, and it's true the stupid people think if you elect a wealthy businessman like Bernie or myself that we will be able to do for them and the country what we have done for ourselves. But Bernie got captured. I don't like people who get captured."
The show will be airing this fall. Stay tuned for details.