My son's father is Republican. Not one of those nice old-fashioned Republicans who understood that part of being in a community meant that you had to pay taxes and care for your neighbors.
The new kind of Republican. The kind that would rather keep everyone under him down than to try and raise the standard of living for everybody. The sort that doesn't realize that if the minimum wage is raised, then skilled job wages will follow.
He wasn't that way when we were together. At least I don't remember him that way. One of the joys of this modern age of social networks is that I get to see what he is now. Occasionally I think "Hey, I liked you for your mind, what HAPPENED?", other times, like yesterday, he flat out pisses me off.
Dear father of my child Guy who provided the genetic material for one of the most wonderful things in my life,
Yesterday you posted a meme about Margaret Sanger with a quote-
Slavs, Latin and Hebrew immigrants are human weeds... a deadweight of human waste. Blacks, soldiers and Jews are a menace to the race.
She never said it. It would have only taken a couple minutes with a search engine to realize that she never said it. But fact checking and critical thinking don't seem to be strong points for you.
But you sir, are a hypocrite. When you talk about personal responsibility, when you talk about Planned Parenthood, when you open your mouth about any one of those subjects.
I was 18 years old when we met, you were reading a book I liked, and we struck up a conversation. I know it must have been terribly exciting for you- a barely woman 10 years your junior who found you attractive. We had a lot of fun, and wow, I loved your book collection.
Then you remember what happened? I got pregnant. You knew I wasn't going to have an abortion even though I am pro-choice. I wore a button proudly throughout my pregnancy that said "Pro-choice and I vote" and the classic ban the coathanger pin. You wouldn't know that though. We split up because you didn't want kids.
You wouldn't know that my pregnancy test and initial prenatal care came from Planned Parenthood. That they never urged me to give up my child despite my youth, that the people who worked with me worked around my non-existent income and supported my decisions. You weren't there supporting my decisions.
Welfare? Another one of those things you keep yelling about? I was 19 with a newborn and very few job skills. Even though we lived together for 8 months, you took me to court for blood tests to prove you are the father. I got to hold my son while he cried about being poked with a needle. I went on welfare for 2 years so I could nurse and be with my son.
Personal responsibility? He's 24 years old. You have never so much as sent him a birthday card. You said that if I wanted child support, I had to sue for it. You've never offered a dime.
We did just fine. Because of being able to get help from those social programs you scorn. Left without them, we would have had to wait for the courts to get to you, and I'd have been in debt up to my eyeballs for my choice to have the child. The choice not to use birth control was both of ours. Everything after that was up to me. Planned Parenthood was the reason the start of my pregnancy was healthy, food stamps and assistance was the reason I was able to stay home and nurse him.
I'm so very glad that I chose to have him. He's a wonderful young man. You don't know that either, but you want to- now. After over 2 decades of never paying child support, never calling, never showing any interest at all- now you seem to want to know him. You haven't offered to be personally financially responsible in anyway, but you think he should get in touch with you.
He doesn't care about you. He doesn't know you. You'd be terribly disappointed anyway. He's a kind, caring, empathetic human being who has been registered to vote since the day he turned 18- and he voted for choice, for safety nets, for Planned Parenthood and PBS, he carefully considers and researches his vote, and votes with heart. He cancels your vote.
I'm not actually mad at you. I know it seems like I'm bitter. The truth is, I feel sorry for you. You gave me this incredible gift and you've missed out on it.