You go to your local bar and meet the Republican candidates for a beer:
Trump- Loudly proclaims “Free drinks for everybody!” He then proceeds to say that this bar is “classless” and takes the whole crowd with him to another bar. You are then stuck with the tab.
Walker- Sits in the back and mouths the words to 80s hair band songs. Walker gives you a thumbs up and a smirk because he knows who is really paying for the drinks.
Rubio- Is so thirsty!
Fiorina- Pontificates that she will merge beer then liquor to bring out the synergies.
Huckabee- Won’t drink a beer unless no one is watching.
Jeb!- Drinks and whines about how W keeps giving him a wedgie and he can’t do anything about it because of W’s secret service detail.
Kasich- Talks about his policy achievements and you excuse yourself to go throw up.
Cruz- Keeps texting you because you intentionally gave him the wrong address to the bar.
Christie- Puts out construction cones in front of the bar so that Paul, Gilmore, Graham, Jindal, Perry and Santorum can’t get into the place. He then gets really loud and spills drinks all over the place and berates the wait staff for not cleaning up fast enough.
As you leave the bar, you meet Megyn. After gulping her beer, she tells you about the time she met this guy named Roger at the crossroads in Mississippi.