As a gay man, I have known the day when telling someone you’re gay, though it was a friend, a parent or your boss, could mean the loss of that friend, rejection by that parent along with disownment, or the loss of a job. Truth is; that has not changed for many. You can still lose a job for being gay or transgender and a parent or friend who has strict religious beliefs might no longer accept you as their child or their friend.
Right now, transgender youth have got the most difficult road to travel. It is hard for some to understand the turmoil that goes on inside a transgender person. When you’re born with the wrong body, that body can seem like a prison to a transgender individual. The best they can do is try to be who they are inside, and to do so, may very well upset the applecart of balance around them. Some parents cannot get past the idea their child does not want to be the gender they were born with and many jobs will simply fire someone who does not conform to what the owner or management considers the norm.
A transgender teen is much more likely to attempt suicide than other teens. Statistics show 41 percent of transgender members attempt suicide some time in their lives, compared to 4.6 of the general population. Transgender individuals, even more than gay youth, are targeted for bullying and discrimination.
Transgender individuals have always been identified with the gay community because of the acceptance between the two but they are by nature, two separate groups when it comes to their needs. Both groups of course have faced discrimination and harassment for being who they are but transgender individuals also face unique problems as far as what public restroom to use and decisions on dressing the way they feel the most comfortable. Eventually, being transgender most likely will lead to an all-important decision to transition to the gender they identify with, which leads to necessary medical procedures to complete the transition.
It takes a lot of courage for all LGBTQ individuals to step forward with their lives, in coming out of the proverbial closet to their family, friends and their jobs. For gays and lesbians, marriage was a big step, as it allowed us to take control of our lives in a way that we can find fulfillment through commitment and finally having a family, which has always been the one thing denied to us for being gay. Before same-sex marriage became legal, many gays and lesbians have made the wrong decision to marry the opposite sex, just to have a family, and we have also seen the heartbreak it has caused to not only ourselves but to our spouses and the children from those marriages.
For transgender individuals, there is a whole different set of issues, when it comes to finding fulfillment in their lives. The armed forces of America are on the way to becoming open to transgender individuals, as they have with gays and lesbians. That’s a start but there are still mountains to climb for the rest of society when it comes to not only understanding transgender individuals, but also seeing to the needs of transitioning transgender and helping transgender teens feel accepted in society so that the high suicide rate among transgender individuals goes down considerably.
In some ways, this is the age of LGBTQs. It is our time to shake the world and open the eyes of those who are willing to see and to knock down all the stereotypes and misconceptions about who we are. For us, it is like standing before the world, naked and vulnerable to all the criticism and unacceptance by those who would use their personal religious beliefs to deny our right to stand equal. Yet the road is not an easy one to travel, with so many roadblocks still standing in our way. For each of us, though we are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, our journeys are different and our diversity runs deep.
And let me add something here, as there is really an important point to make: LGBTQ individuals must not let our differences divide us. I am referring to the first movie coming out about the beginning of the gay rights movement at the Stonewall Inn in New York City back in 1969, called “Where Pride Began”. Already, there is a controversy concerning that movie, which is leading to a boycott, over who was the individuals who stood up against the police on that night and what was the color of their skin or were they transgender, gays or lesbians.
The story of Stonewall will be told through different vantage points by different individuals as time goes by. This is just one story and there will be more. Many stood up and those who stood up were a diverse set of individuals within the LGBTQ community. It does not matter who was the first person to throw the first brick, it does not matter what their racial makeup or if that person was gay, lesbian, or transgender. We have always been in the same boat when it comes to facing opposition for who we are, against the police and against all the laws and religious zealots who would deny us our right to stand equal.
We as a community are better than that. That kind of infighting is something you would expect from a bunch of ignorant Republican Tea Party activist, not LGBTQ individuals who have faced all odds to stand proud of who we are and the natural acceptance that has always been present between us.
I intend to see this movie as I hope my fellow LGBTQ members will too, and I will also see the other versions when they come out, because it’s a story that needs finally to be told. The straight world needs to know this story, just as they know the story of the Civil Rights movement of African-Americans. It will help us open more doors and help more to understand and thereby accept us and the equal rights we so deserve.
At the end of the day, we have all faced down our fears and we have stood up to the police, we have come out to our families and friends, and we have come out at our jobs. Sometimes we have lost our battles. We have been cast out from our families and unfriended by those we thought were friends and we have lost our jobs. We have also been beaten into the ground and some of us, like Matthew Shepard, a gay teen and Mercedes Williamson a transgender teen; have lost their lives, just for being who they are.
We have not always found the acceptance we so deserve from this world, but we have always stood together, united as one. That’s how we will continue to win our liberty and equality, because we are amazing people, gifted and full of love. Acceptance by all might not be in the cards but let nothing stop us for sticking together against insurmountable odds, as we have always done. In other words, let the fear of being unacceptable be overcome by the strength of our unity.