Joan's oldest daughter was hospitalized last week for what was thought to be an ulcer. Tragically, just as she and her mother thought that she was going to be released from the hospital, Joan's beloved eldest daughter passed away. As Dee stated: "She who has given her all to us, who has inspired us to care for, and act for those who need defending, needs our help, prayers and support today" and many tomorrows. Last night, our community's generous heart donated, over $7023.54 in a fundraising diary by JekyllnHyde and a team from Community Fundraisers. We need more money for her daughter's funeral. Costs for the funeral are estimated at $10,000. We'd like to raise more money so Joan can deal with any related expenses while focusing on her family and younger children.
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Fundraising Updates from JoanMar
I just got the first fundraising total update from Joan. She expresses her profound gratitude to the community for its wonderful outpouring of support. Most of you don't know this, but Joan has also been supporting other members of her real extended family for years. It would be fantastic if we could cover the entire costs associated with this funeral and not allow her to incur any debt whatsoever. Let's see if we can do it! Thank you, everyone.
Update #1 (Wednesday, August 26th): As of 8:47 pm Eastern Time, the fundraising total is $2,545.00!
Update # 2: Wow, this is simply amazing! As of 10:00 pm ET, we stand at $3585.44. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Update # 3: Fantastic! We've reached $6567.31 as of 11:00 pm ET. Let's keep it going, please. All of us on the fundraising team don't have the appropriate words to offer our thanks.
Update # 4: I simply cannot believe this. Your incredible generosity means the world to JoanMar and her family. As of 12:00 am, we are up to $7023.54!!!!
Update # 5 (Thursday, August 27th): Are you ready for this? The new fundraising total is $8676.77 as of 10:45 pm ET. Let's get this closer to $10,000. Thanks, everybody.
Update #6: As of midnight, Joan informed me new total is $8939.63. Hugs and kisses to ALL. This community is the BEST!
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As
Yasuragi says so beautifully, we can't carry her pain, but we can try to reduce the "pressures of the real, cruel world:"
I felt a strong connection to JoanMar when I first became aware of her on the site. She has a powerful voice, and it's evidence of her powerful heart. But what always has made me smile is when she talks about her kids. I love the pride I hear, the pleasure she takes in their wisdom, humor, and perspective on this world (though I'm not at all surprised they have those traits, given who their mom is).
When I read JoanMar's heartbreaking message to Support the Dream Defenders, I burst into tears -- which is not typical of me. I usually take a while to digest bad news, but the shock and pain of that loss was so immediate, and thoroughly excruciating. What made it all the more agonizing was remembering -- instantly, the way images slam into our minds when something awful happens to someone we love -- was how she always sounded when she wrote about her kids -- filled with love, and pride, and delight.
The loss will never be recovered. The pain will always be fresh. And we can't do anything about that. It's one of the sad truths of friendship that we can't carry someone else's pain. But we can try and alleviate the pressures of the real, cruel world that befall those who are grieving. Please do whatever you can to help JoanMar through this time by insuring that the funeral and all attendant expenses are covered. And thank you for helping out a beloved friend and sister.
Lean on us Joan:
We're here for our sis Joan.
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Please Help JoanMar Pay for Her Daughter's Funeral
- Go to PayPal.com. Click Send Money to Family and Friends, which allows the recipient to get 100% of the donation. Enter JoanMar's email address nevfai@optonline.net and amount you are sending. The sender's name is visible to the recipient. Remember, every little bit helps and adds up in a hurry.
- If you would like to send a paper check or money order (to protect your real identity) through the US Mail, please send a Kosmail to elenacarlena to get the mailing address. As you can understand, Joan's going to be tied up with making funeral arrangements.
- You can also help by recommending all diaries posted during this fundraiser, offering encouraging comments, republishing to your Daily Kos groups, linking to your Facebook pages, and helping to spread the word through Twitter.
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Onomastic movingly shares how we can be there for Joan now:
How does one capture a smile, hold a tear, share joy, or lift the fathoms deep weight of grief?
Especially this kind of grief - the grief of a mother for a much loved child. The grief of younger children for a much adored older sister.
Joan's love, pride, and joy in her daughter, in all her children, has always shined so brightly.
She's a fighter for Justice because of her children. Because of her hopes and dreams for them. Because she understands the fear every parent of color has for their child.
Real Justice means life. And Joan wanted life, a life free of fear for her children. For everyone's children.
Her daughter loved to sing and dance. She loved to laugh. She loved life.
She was fiercely protective and loving, so much like her mother.
And now she is suddenly, inexplicably, gone from her mother's arms.
Now it is up to us to be fierce in our love for Joan and her children. Now it is up to us to hold her, to walk beside her in this grief stunned darkness until light can be found again. For her sake. For her younger children's sake. For the sake of the memories of a vibrant, much loved, child.
peregrine kate shares a passage that has special meaning for her:
Khalil Gibran, On Death
Then Almitra spoke, saying, “We would ask now of Death.”
And he said: You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
A poem shared by Dee that is read at her family funerals and brought comfort to her when her brother died:
Death
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the same easy way you always have.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it always was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of your mind, because I am out of your sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is past. Nothing has been lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before, only better.
Infinitely happier.
We will be one, together,
Forever.
by Henry Scott Holland
(1847-1918) Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
And from our wonderful sister belinda ridgewood:
She dwelt here by the pool with its landing-stairs in ruins. Many
an evening she had watched the moon made dizzy by the shaking of
bamboo leaves, and on many a rainy day the smell of the wet earth
had come to her over the young shoots of rice.
Her pet name is known here among those date-palm groves and
in the courtyards where girls sit and talk while stitching their
winter quilts. The water in this pool keeps in its depth the memory
of her swimming limbs, and her wet feet had left their marks, day
after day, on the footpath leading to the village.
The women who come to-day with their vessels to the water have
all seen her smile over simple jests, and the old peasant, taking
his bullocks to their bath, used to stop at her door every day to
greet her.
Many a sailing-boat passes by this village; many a traveller
takes rest beneath that banyan tree; the ferry-boat crosses to
yonder ford carrying crowds to the market; but they never notice
this spot by the village road, near the pool with its ruined
landing-stairs, -where dwelt she whom I love.
~ Rabindranath Tagore
Thank you everyone for all your kindness of hearts and generosity of contributions in time or sharing or sending money. Thank you for your continuing support for Joan and her family. Your caring in this dark time means more than words can convey.
Everyone has truly been so beautiful.
In times like these, help from our friends is such an immeasurable blessing.
A deeply felt thank you for all the support you have shared with Joan; much gratitude for sharing your love, for spreading the word throughout social media, and for your generosity of contributions.
We are all witness, at this moment, to the awe-inspiring beauty of compassion from a caring family.
Thank you, deepest love for our community and sister Joan.
