When I set out to write this post, I decided that it was so absurd that I probably needed to preface it with a disclaimer. So, in the interest of ensuring that you are aware that this is an actual real story account of actual real events, I'm letting you know now that THIS IS NOT SATIRE. I repeat: NOT SATIRE. It may read like it is, but it's not.
So. Here goes. Basically, Detroit's Emergency Manager, Darnell Earley, has claimed that God spoke to him and let him know that he is the prophet Jeremiah.
The claim was uttered at a pastor's luncheon Earley catered at Davis Aerospace Technical High School last Thursday in Detroit. He said God spoke to him while driving on I-96, and that His message was clear: taxpayers should foot the bill for yet another “petri dish” school district in Detroit called Old Co New Co – the governor's latest attempt to create yet another school district entity from which he might have an opportunity to enrich himself and his buddies. In an astounding display of his “prophet” credentials, Early, er, Jeremiah 2.0 also predicted that the current school district would be out of money by January. And of course, being a prophet sent by God, he was there to deliver The Good News of just such a miracle: a new school district, funded by Detroit taxpayers. Why, it's a Christmas Miracle!
Granted it's pretty ballsy to present a NEW dead-end program to the same people who have suffered a HALF BILLION dollars worth of damage as a result of the last dead-end program. It's incredible hubris to expect them to pay for it. But only by pulling the “God-card” could one hope to convince them that this latest experiment is actually something GOOD for them.
Last time the Governor sent an emissary to play up the benefits of a shiny new school district, it cost Detroiters hundreds of millions of dollars, destroyed their neighborhoods, reduced their property values, created an increase in gang violence and school dropouts and resulted in a 450 page Title VI Compliant filed with the U.S. Department of Justice.
Detroiters aren't buying it. Old Co New Co sucks, and Detroiters know it. Even if issued forth from the mouth of God himself.
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