It's still early in a campaign that's already strange
The one constant is that everyone's calling for change
On the Republican side eight hundred hats in the ring
Campaigning for president is one hell of a fling.
So many candidates, something must give
Which campaigns will die and which ones will live
So many candidates, their messages blurred
Let's see if this debate will begin thinning the herd.
Host Fox News now rules this debate
Into their hands campaigns place their fate
Fox has declared there are too many people
Not enough room without a big steeple.
Who will take part is now Fox's choice
Iowa and New Hampshire lose their traditional voice
People in these states now feel deprived
Of determining which candidates survived.
Only the top ten in the polls will be chosen
The others to the 'kids table' surely are frozen
We'll look at who Fox has selected
To get an idea of how we are affected.
Donald Trump
At the top of the polls stands Donald Trump
Who feels that everyone else is surely a chump
One certainly cannot say that he is modest
Of those running, he's one of the oddest.
Some feel his claims are just mirrors and smoke
Four times companies he's owned have come up as broke
I can see it now, the economy heads south
The effects of Trump putting his foot in his mouth.
Jeb Bush
The establishment is backing John Ellis Bush
Hoping the family connections will give him a push
If Jeb wants to realize his fantasy
He must first overcome his brother's legacy.
Economy near ruin, Iraq a disaster
Jeb will do the same but do it much faster
Jeb is the smart Bush despite all his flubs
Upsetting many from all of his clubs.
Scott Walker
Next on the stage is Governor Scott Walker
Whose reputation is that he's quite a tough talker
To prepare to fight ISIS with the unions he warred
Spreading ruin and mayhem and lots of discord.
He's had lots of trouble balancing the budget
He looked at the numbers, he figured he'd fudge it
To hide tax cuts for the rich, payoffs to his friends
The hell with anyone else is the message he sends.
Mike Huckabee
Arkansas gives us Mike Huckabee
The moral crusader fighting all that's bawdy
In the fight against gay rights he holds down the fort
Says he'll disregard the rules of the Court.
Like the rest of the Republicans he's hardly a fan
Of Obama's deal to keep nukes from Iran
To get attention he has loudly brayed
That against Islam he'd lead the crusade.
Ben Carson
Ben Carson comes to us from the medical world
Known now for some of the opinions he's hurled
Obamacare is slavery, bestiality homoerotic
Abortion is human sacrifice, the president's psychotic.
With no knowledge of how he might govern
Simple civics lessons he still has to learn
From his mistaken ideas he refuses to budge
If he disagrees with a ruling, he'll just fire the judge.
Ted Cruz
From Canada and the Tea Party we now have Ted Cruz
When it comes to governing he sure has no clues
Read Green Eggs and Ham in the Senate, he's the chief clown
He has no qualms about shutting the government down.
He hates Obamacare to protect people's health
Medical care is only for those who have wealth
Illegal immigrants causing more disorder
His solution is to just close the border.
Marco Rubio
Marco Rubio is seen as fresh, handsome and young
Who's known for his frequent slips of the tongue
He claims that foreign affairs is his strong suit
To both support and oppose nation building does not compute.
Making his mind up he seems to have trouble
Prior stands on immigration, Iraq left in the rubble
His policies put forth as shortened slogans
His lack of knowledge startles and stuns.
Rand Paul
From the libertarians we have Ron Paul's son Rand
Who wants to fix the tax code, with chainsaw in hand
Conspiracy theories hold him in thrall
In choosing top aides he sure dropped the ball.
About his dovish stands the far right has raised a squawk
So he decided he'd now be a hawk
He spoke out against Big Brother tapping our phones
And railed against too much usage of drones.
Chris Christie
We now have New Jersey Governor Chris Christie
Whose memory at times does seem to be misty
About how they could close the GW bridge
Reducing his role to less than that of a midge.
His reputation is that of a big bully
To fix his state's economy, he'll need a huge pulley
On his watch nine times the rating has sunk
To the point where it is quite near to junk.
John Kasich
We now have John Kasich to bring up the rear
For the debate he made the top tier
He may appear to some as a bit of a riddle
As he tries to appear as one in the middle.
When it comes to the war in Iraq
He wants boots on the ground to give ISIS a whack
Banking reform I see not a chance
For with Lehman Brothers long did he dance.
These are the candidates for this debate
We'll soon have an idea of how they may rate
Will they be calm under pressure, maintain their cool
Or will they come across as acting the fool?