I was speaking with my nephew earlier today. He’s 11 years old, and somewhat Autistic, so it can be challenging at times. He was explaining to me that his class was going on a field trip to a local museum, and that he was not going to go with them. Curious, I asked him why he was not going. His response was that he really didn’t want to go on the field trip. Surprised, I asked if it was common practice to give kids the choice to go on a school field trip or not. To which he replied “well… my mom said I couldn’t go”… which didn’t jibe with the first story, OR sound like my sister in any way. Now I was really curious, so I pressed him by stating that I highly doubted that his mom would want him to miss such a great experience. Asking again, I asked him to give me the real reason for his exclusion on the field trip. His Autism manifests (when he’s stressed) as an inability to finish any sentence, so I was getting “Somehow…”, “Apparently…”, “I guess…” and then nothing. He just stopped speaking and began to walk away (another of his defenses). I called him back and explained to him in a calm voice that I just wanted to know the true reason that he was not going on the field trip, and that I was not out to judge him or anything . Even held his face in my hands and explained that he was my nephew and I would love him no matter what he did. He still couldn’t simply state the reason and only replied with “I have some embarrassing secrets” and began to cry.
As I was not getting anywhere with my nephew, I went to the source… my sister. Turns out that he had surprised her with the permission slip and need for a check on the morning of the day that the slip/check was due to be submitted, and then proceeded to lose the check/slip on the way to school. He even tried to claim that he had submitted the info to the nurse and she must have lost it “somehow” (apparently mixing up yet another situation involving a medical form with the slip/check issue as the slip/check goes to the Admin. office).
Such ducking and buck-passing was going on that I was somewhat amazed that an 11 year old could be so very duplicitous and worried about his “image”. He never did actually admit to any wrongdoing, and I have strong doubts as to whether he has even admitted to himself that anything he did was wrong, and he seemed to be acting as if it was all some big conspiracy to tarnish his reputation.
So, a simple breakdown of his response to making a simple mistake:
1) Flat out deny anything happened at all.
2) If caught, lie and or pass the blame.
3) If proven guilty, choose wording that at least opens the door to someone or something else being the true culprit.
4) Walk away.
5) If totally pegged, begin to cry and wail.
6) NEVER, NEVER EVER, admit that any wrong was ever done.
7) And finally… forget the whole situation ever happened, and regress to a grumpy mess if anyone ever brings it up.
Sound familiar?
If this description reminds you of a significant portion of the Republican Party, you are not alone. And what does it say about the Grand Old Partiers that their basic social and political stance shares much of its methodology with an 11 year old Autistic child?
Following congressional politics has more than once reminded me of recess politics in a large elementary school. The cliques, the underhanded deals/actions, the complete dearth of any form of maturity or seeming understanding of their purpose/responsibilities in life and an outright lack of a true grasp on reality.
It’s one thing if children evidence childish behavior… and to be expected… it’s something else when those who are trusted with the governance of a nation and its people are resorting to childish behavior. Children are malleable and require the occasional reprimand to mold them into responsible adults. Sadly, all too many of our elected officials are proving every day that they have somehow managed to avoid being molded into an adult and are instead gleefully playing 4-square with our very lives.
I think it’s well past time for a few hundred “time outs”.