Hello all of you out there in KOS-land. I bring you Good News! I, a long-time Pastafarian and ordained minister, have finally been granted a revelation and Good News by our Most Holy Noodle, the FSM! He and/She has granted me exclusive knowledge and has opened my eyes.
The old dogma was wrong! Wrong and evil! The FSM does not want everyone to just get along. The FSM revealed to me that He and/or She does have commandments and if you join (Details TBD) my Schizmatic FSM Church (the S-FSM Church), you will receive His and/or Her blessings. Remember, stay away from the old, evil FSM church at www.venganza.org.
Thankfully, the FSM has revealed to me that He and/or She does not approve of Republicans. Can you say, "Halleluyah?" Specifically, the FSM (like any other God) wants you to make some changes to your way of life. If you are an employer, healthcare provider, business owner, or minor governmental flunky, you must deny Republicans any form of medical care except liposuction, and breast implants for men. The FSM actually revealed many secrets to me, and His and/or Her plans are more complicated, but that's the gist, so if you're a faithfull S-FSM adherent, you must refuse to provide insurance coverage for Republicans except as outlined. More details will be posted on the upcoming S-FSM website.
In the meantime, just remember, this will (soon be) a bonafide religion (as soon as I get some money together) and therefor you will soon be able to refuse to provide decent insurance to people, based on their political beliefs, and be protected under the "Freedom of Religion." Please send requests to join my new S-FSM church to me here, in the comments section.
You're welcome!