Many people are still processing what we lived through last night. The feelings are difficult, to say the least.
I said to a coworker today that this is something like 9/11 and something like my childhood pet dying. He didn’t disagree. Just like when your family pet dies, nothing anyone says is really going to make it better. Maybe for a while you are just going to feel horrible and there isn’t a way around that.
But the first thing we should tell ourselves is that the feelings we are having are normal feelings, and no matter how negative they seem, whatever feelings and emotions we are experiencing, those are the correct feelings for us to be having at this moment. There’s nothing wrong with having feelings of sadness, or anger, or fear, and there is no reason to be ashamed of anything you are feeling right now.
Maybe you’ll find something that helps you cope with what has happened. If you do, do that thing, as long as it isn’t harmful or self-destructive. With one exception.
One thing that is not useful right now is blame. They’ll be plenty of time later to think about what went wrong, but it is most harmful for us at this moment to be fighting amongst ourselves.
Grief shifts our priorities. Things that seem relevant yesterday now seem like they were written a thousand years ago. What we feel will help us to make changes in ourselves.
These horrible feelings— we are all feeling them together. In shared grief, we can come together in the sharing of it. In our sadness, we can love those who grieve with us more strongly than we have known how to love them before.
Let us always remember not what we feel now but how it bonded us. Who you voted for doesn’t matter, if you are as horrified as I am. I don’t care who you supported, as long as you share my sorrow and and my outrage. I don’t care if you have been a Republican, as long as you want to work together with me against this injustice.
Some groups are immediately in greater danger than they were a day ago. It’s been hard to be Latino, Muslim, or Black in this country, but it’s about to get worse. We must build a movement now so we can all help whoever is targeted for oppression. If we denounce scapegoating and fear mongering in one loud voice, together we can shout our love louder than the hate.
Our grief, our anger, and our fear, as horrible as they feel, unite us. From this day, let us always be Stronger Together.