I’ve gone through the same rollercoaster ride of emotions that I suspect many of you have. I posted about my fear this morning — and the shame I felt that my first reaction was that it was time to go, to bug out, Canada here I come (if they’d have me...).
Now, after going to work, then leaving work after throwing up for the fifth time (apologies, TMI), then visiting my shell-shocked parents to check in and touch base with loved ones… Well, I’ve come to a conclusion. I want in. I want in for a host of reasons that I’m going to attempt to put down in this diary here.
I mentioned shame above. I’d like to speak about that for a moment if you kind readers will allow me. I have never served in the military, nor did I volunteer for the Peace Corps. I view this as a great regret. See… I believe in this (currently flawed) country of ours, as I know so many of you do as well. I watched my dad give 20+ years to the Navy, and I watched my mom spend a lot of time parenting alone when my dad was away. I respect his (and all veterans’) service to this country. But at the same time — it was my feminist, bleeding-heart liberal mom who taught me what patriotism is, and what it all means. I can’t help but hear her very words from last night, and again today, in my head as I type. “We don’t give up — put one foot in front of the other, and soldier on.” I’m not leaving my country — I’m a patriot, and damn it, I’m going to fight for it!
As I thought about it, this afternoon on my folks’ lanai — I also got to thinking about something my dad has been telling me for years. Basically, I’ve screwed up, I’ve missed my calling. I never should have gotten a degree in science, but political science, or public policy instead. See, my dad maintains that I should have been a congressional staffer — we don’t have the money for me to run for office of course — and I’m more the “wonk” type.
Certainly anyone reading this… whatever it is… is likely a lot like me. Someone who cares more about politics than nearly anyone else they know on a daily basis. Someone who thinks details matter, and that far from being some forbidden, taboo subject, that politics SHOULD be talked about, played with, discussed, and debated. I get so frustrated when people tell me “meh, politics, I’m not into it...” Damn it! This is important stuff, as we all know.
So… How do I get in the game?
And I can hear an obvious retort here: where were you before/during the election?!
Well, I was knocking on doors and talking to any and everyone who would listen to me. I extolled the severe importance of this election, and I managed to convince some folks to get off the sidelines to actually go vote (in one case, I couldn’t seal the deal for Hillary, but I stopped a hesitant Trump voter, urging him to vote his conscience if he felt he couldn’t in good faith vote for Trump...).
I was also working all summer long to get a job after having to leave my previous one and finding myself out of work far, far longer than I had anticipated. And again, to head off calls for not doing enough — anyone making that claim — you’re right. I didn’t do enough. Not damned near enough. And I’m simply not willing, in the wake of this monumental disaster, to continue not doing enough. Because I’m not going to run and hide, or give up. I’m going to fight.
This brings me full circle here in this rambling whatever it is. I want in now. For real. Because I’m not running away. But I need to do a hell of a lot more than be an anonymous internet elitist know-it-all, comfortable in my own smug superiority, typing (what I think at least are) witty comments on Kos. I want to be in the trenches now — fighting the good fight — and frankly, kicking some serious Republican ass.
But I don’t know where to begin. I can’t just up and quit my job — I’ve got to be employed, bills, food, mortgage and all. I got the snazzy idea to look at the state Dem website, but it’s still locked in election2016 mode… Think we’re a rather large step beyond that. My next thought was local congressional offices — I’ve got 3 blue districts near enough to me, but how does one, you know, knock on the door and proclaim “BLUE WARRIOR CHECKING IN! PUT ME IN COACH, GIVE ME THE BALL?”
Politics, and action are where I should be, but I’m stumped as to how to do this. But I’m not running, I want to fight.
Because as I said a bit above — I want in. I’m not going to sit on the sidelines, I’m not going to flee to the great friendly Canadian north, I’m not going to sulk, and after today, I’m done with nausea, tears, and pity. I’m here to fight.
If anyone has any tips/advice/whatever — it’d be greatly appreciated.
Thank you kindly for reading!