25 Ted Cruz quotes that prove he should be the President of Planet Uranus

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Wednesday February 17, 2016 · 10:29 AM PST

2016/02/17 · 10:29

He’s cosmic. He’s spacey. And he’s running for president of the United States (POTUS). Yes, the junior senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, is a 2016 candidate for the Republican nomination. Is he qualified? Well, some think Cruz might be better suited as the leader of a different world, a different planet. Why? Because Ted Cruz is a wacko bird. That’s not my label. He said so himself and he’s proud of it. Here are 25 linked quotes where Ted Cruz proves he is on his own space odyssey, and he can surely defend his self-proclaimed wacko label:

Wacko Birds

1. “I am a very, very proud wacko bird”

The Internet

2. “‘Net neutrality’ is Obamacare for the Internet”

Expanded Medicaid

3. “Obama is just a ‘social worker’ who wants to put ISIS “on expanded Medicaid”

A Chaplain’s Job Description

4. “It is the job of a chaplain to be insensitive to atheists”

The Art of Lying/Shutting Down

5. “I didn’t threaten to shut down the government”

Citizenship Dissing

6. “I will renounce any Canadian citizenship”

International Panhandling

7. “I have never seen a Hispanic panhandler”

Fake Filibusters

8. “I intend to speak in opposition to Obamacare ; I intend to speak in support of defunding Obamacare until I am no longer able to stand”

A Jesse Helms Kind of Racism

9. “It’s every bit as true now as it was then. We need 100 more like Jesse Helms in the U.S. Senate”

Immigration

10. “T he crisis on the border, unfortunately President Obama and Harry Reid have demonstrated no interest in solving it”

The Bill of Rights

11. “You look at our Constitution, you look at our Bill of Rights, this is an administration that seems bound and determined to violate every single one of our Bill or Rights”

Quartering Soldiers

12. “I don’t know that they’ve yet violated the Third Amendment, but I expect them to start quartering soldiers in people’s homes soon”

Obama-Nazi Phobia

13. “If you go to the 1940s, Nazi Germany. Look, we saw in Britain, Neville Chamberlain, who told the British people, "Accept the Nazis. Yes, they'll dominate the continent of Europe but that's not our problem. Let's appease them. Why? Because it can't be done. We can't possibly stand against them.”

Incarcerating Pastors

14. When asked if we could go through a period where pastors are hauled off to jail for a hate crime because they are speaking for traditional marriage, Ted responded: “I think that is a real risk and you and I have both pointed to that risk in the past.”

Green Eggs and Ham

15. “I will credit my father, he invented … green eggs and ham. He did it two ways. The easy way was he would put green food coloring in … But if you take spinach and mix it into the eggs, the eggs turn green … I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am.”

Duck Dynasty

16. “Jeff said ‘Faith, family and facial hair.’ I point out to the junior senator from Utah, if we continue doing this long enough, we may have facial hair on the floor of the Senate.”

One of These Days, Alice

17. “The moon might be as intimidating as Obamacare.”

White Castles

18. “I like their little burgers … I’m a big fan of eating White Castle burgers.”

Argument Boots

19. “I don’t think there’s been a day on this floor that I haven’t worn my argument boots … I am not in my argument boots and I will confess, I really do feel embarrassed by that.”

Designated Driving

20. “If you want somebody to drive you home, I will get the job done.”

No Global Warming

21. "The last 15 years, there has been no recorded warming. Contrary to all the theories that they are expounding, there should have been warming over the last 15 years. It hasn't happened."

I Mean, ‘The World Is On Fire’

22. “The Obama economy is a disaster, Obamacare is a trainwreck, and the Obama-Clinton foreign policy of leading from behind – the whole world is on fire.”

Trivial Pursuit

23. “Twenty years from now if there is some obscure trivial pursuit question, I am confident I will be the answer.”

Self-Awareness

24. "Each day I learn what a scoundrel I am."

Repetition

25. “I am a very, very proud wacko bird”

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25 Ted Cruz quotes that prove he should be the President of Planet Uranus

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