What I like about this is that it's inconceivable to Republican House member Chris Collins that the American common rabble might simply not like Donald Trump. No, if some Americans don’t like reality television wart Donald Trump it can only mean there's a conspiracy afoot.
Rep. Chris Collins (R-NY), who last month became the first Congressman to endorse Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy, claimed on Tuesday that protesters at Trump’s campaign events are paid operatives working as part of the “Democrat playbook.”
Have I mentioned in the last twenty minutes that the entire Republican Party is, at this point, one big puddle of conspiracy theories? I believe I have. All right, Rep. Chris Collins, lay it out for us. Take us through that looking glass.
Oh—I should also mention here that Rep. Chris Collins has endorsed Donald Trump for the presidency, becoming the first House member to do so, so available evidence suggests the man is not the sharpest tool in the fish tank, or however that saying goes.
Cuomo asked whether Collins could prove that these protesters were paid organizers, rather than just the same progressive groups who often protest in different settings, even to Hillary Clinton. “There’s no question, these are paid protesters, these are not a bunch of college kids showing up because they’ve got an issue here or there.”
There are other ways to interpret frequent protests against Donald Trump, of course. The man has said one or two incendiary things over his campaign, the sort of things that tend to get decent people riled up.
But if you presume that the only reason The Poors and The Ethnic Folks and Don't Own Their Own Private Jet crowds would get upset with Donald Trump is because they are being paid cash money to do so, it requires Herculean feats of logic to keep that train on the rails.
Cuomo then asked whether he thinks Clinton is paying the same people “to come to her own events and make her look bad.”
Collins replied that it was possible, as “we know from her playbook she’ll do anything she can to be President of the United States. Everyone knows Hillary Clinton can’t be trusted as far as you can throw her.”
All right, so there we have the Rep. Chris Collins’ theory about Donald Trump protesters. They are only there because they are being paid to protest by the Democrats; Hillary Clinton is probably paying those same protesters to protest her own events in order to throw crack detectives like Chris Collins off the trail.
Have I mentioned that the whole sodding party is like this? From ACORN to birtherism to the United Nations to Jade Helm to ammo confiscation to everydamnthingelse, the whole party is nothing but a soup of conspiracy beliefs once confined to Breitbartian fever swamps but now served piping hot by sweaty Republican legislators standing on the floor of the House holding printouts of Things They Heard On The Internets?
But however did a loon like Donald Trump seize the reins of the party, the pundits wail out loud. Our precious, entirely reasonable Republican Party that would never put up with liars or crackpots or people who see dark plots and conspiracies behind every door and mailbox.