We realize this is a binary job. Either The Trump has enemies, or The Trump has no enemies. If there are no Enemies of The Trump, then this job has no duties and responsibilities. If there are enemies, as one suspects, the job will involve much hard work. Hard, but enjoyable. In support of this application, we estimate the probability of there being no Enemies of The Trump to be negative, that is: a less than zero probability.
To avoid the semblance of seeking a remunerative position, aka: Cushy Government Job, the job is to be unpaid, except for a tiny commission of 1% on the conversation of acquired assets illegally from Enemies of The Trump. We believe tax evasion rampant among the Enemies of The Trump, and recovering these taxes, with punitive penalties will provide much enjoyment and very gainful remuneration.
The team appointed to this job must have the latitude to employ any groups required to fulfill the job description, and the full resources of the US Federal Government to complete tasks.
Full resources means open access to the wonders of the NSA and any other database, subpoena power to complete our absolutely law abiding banks to deliver the details of expenditures and sources of money, and all other powers available to the Federal Government. We’d probably not want the power to use drone to compel this enforcement action, despite knowing of many locations on the French Reveria, Hawaii and various Long and Caribbean Islands which harbor such miscreants.
We are, however, reminded of the British example of Admiral Byng, to compel behavior.
Our plan starts by reviewing all Credit Cards accounts with bills over $500,000 per month. We care not on what fripperies the money was spent – we do care how and from what the accounts the bills were settled. We presume that your wealthy enemies will have wives who actually spend their money. We also presume these bills will always be settled promptly by their owners, as it would be devastating for the wife of a wealthy husband to suffer the indignity of “transaction denied;” and the wifely sanction of the husband would follow swiftly, with reminders about the lapse in the required protocol at frequent and embarrassing intervals for a very long time.
We’re betting on the saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” and the male avoidance behavior that such actions require.
We expect that after our first successful target is hit, we will experience a sudden up-welling of honest confessions from the list of Enemies of The Trump, coupled with a renunciation of their sins, and many oaths, some of fealty, others treasonous, directed at the Person of The Trump.
We’re very interested in the oaths of fealty, and further testimony from such miscreants (Snitching on their fellow who boast of their financial prowess). The oaths of fealty we believe would best be delivered in person to The Trump, preferably with the oath-giver and family on their knees, or prostrate, either on the carpet in the Oval Office, or possibly on the front lawn of the White House.
We also wish to establish a bounty program for office cleaners, because we really believe in promoting their welfare, especially those office cleaners domiciled in the Cayman Islands, Bermuda, Guernsey, Jersey, Luxembourg, and other tax havens, but not Lichtenstein. We are convinced that the office cleaners will flock to collect our bounty offered, especially the in Luxembourg, but are equally convinced the Office Cleaners in Lichtenstein of German descent will never accept a bounty.
In addition to the powers listed above, we may encourage Anonymous, though anonymous donations of cash, to hack into and publish the financial dealing of the Enemies of The Trump. We’d need to explore this avenue carefully as uncontrolled exposure of the greedy might expose Family or Friends of the Trump, which is not the objective. We do need to remember our objective, which is punishment of the Enemies of the Trump, which is not equal protection of the law, and follows the wonderful precedent of the current American Judicial system which does not punish the rich, powerful or connected, but terrorizes and summarily executes the poor.
In a closing, and on reflection, we believe we have failed to identify a significant source of Enemies of the Trump, and actually do with to use Drones of the Trump to adjust their behavior. Our target would be The World Economic Forum in Davos, in Switzerland. We believe the aphorism expressed in “Seven in One Blow” would apply directly to the Enemies of the Trump at that gathering, and would eclipse decorating wedding parties with pink mist in such a manner that the Trump name would ring down the centuries, and the Descendants of the Trump would be secure in power for what few generations remain now Climate Change has really taken effect — 2 deg C rise in world temperatures in February 2016.
We have outlined a solid program to punish Enemies of the Trump, at no cost to The Government of The Trump.
How son after The Inauguration of The Trump can we start?