In a Controversial Statement Issued by Isee Clearly, former editor of Dog World Magazine
Isee states that, “puppies are good.” Jumpy Headstrong, head of the Angry People for Killing Things Committee, counters with the statement, “THAT’S RIDICULOUS!!!!! PUPPIES ARE NOT GOOD!!!!! AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
John Givemesome, of the Society for Calming Down, in a six part interview, outlined reasons why everyone just needs to calm down.
“One thing we can do,” states Givemesome, “is to just exercise a little breathing, and maybe think about butterflies and cool, autumn breezes.”
Headstrong was outraged over these comments.
“I HATE BUTTERFLIES!!!!! I HATE COOL, AUTUMN BREEZES!!!!!,” shouted Headstrong, at the absolute top of his lungs, “AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!”
In a poll conducted by Fantastic Research Affiliates, they found that in the 18-25 age group, 73% believe puppies are good, with another 28% believing puppies are not good at all, and a surprising 12% having no opinion, and wondering about the math.
100% of participants named Cruella DeVille had the opinion that puppies make excellent fur coats.
Clearly followed up the poll by suggesting that anyone who disagrees with her on this is a big doo-doo poopyhead, and should probably just shut the hell up.