FUNDRAISING CHALLENGE: Every time 1) someone says “it’s over for Bernie” or similar aggressive Order to Capitulate before 2026 pledged delegates have been duly pledged (i.e., before the race is REALLY over), or 2) someone posts a puppy-dogs picture to taunt you and be an obnoxious turd to you, or 3) tells you how obnoxious Bernie’s supporters all are YET AGAIIIIIIN, tell them you are going to donate 10$ to Bernie’s campaign! I’m up to about $100 already (but like most Bernie supporters, I’m nowhere NEAR my limit)!
You guys all game? I’m doing this starting RIGHT now. Any of y’all trolls wanna troll, you troll. Post those jerkish comments, everyone! Keep those fingers clutched tightly around my throat and forcefeed me the words “it’s over” until I puke all over you! But remember: you can’t grasp my wallet and my throat at the same time!
DO NOT make this a drinking game. You won’t be sober by morning when you have to work, and I don’t want anyone getting alcohol poisoning.
UPDATE, 12:09 a.m. PST 3/23/16: Hattip Khyber900! for inspiring this update:
To all: apparently, the Clinton campaign has just hit upon the expedient of trying to clamp down on Bernie’s (what is to them, obviously a HIGHLY alarming) rate of fundraising, which has scared the shit out of them for months now, by trying to pretend “hey Bernie supporters, Tad Devine is a fatcat who’s pocketing all your money.” Hence, EVERY Hillary supporter from here to DC has… er, coincidentally all started posting about it at exactly the same time, “OMG! Tad Devine got $810,000 in February!” for doing what Robbie Mook of the Clinton campaign does for only $80,000 a year.
However, it’s, er, bullshit. Tad Devine’s AD AGENCY got $810,000 for, er… producing Bernie advertisements. Which are things that EVERY campaign spends MILLIONS of dollars PER WEEK on. And which we EXPECT and WANT Bernie’s campaign to spend our money on. So yeah… the $810,000 figure is really scary and all, but don’t be bullshitted. You’re welcome.