This is something I've been thinking about for years. Even more so recently with the antics of one Donald Trump. Came to a head when I read this a story on Medium titled, Amazon Echo Is Magical. It’s Also Turning My Kid Into an Asshole. The first two graphs start this way:
We love our Amazon Echo. Among other tasks, my four year old finds the knock knock jokes hilarious, the weather captivating, the ability to summon songs comparable to magic and Echo to be the best speller in the house. But I fear it’s also turning our daughter into a raging asshole. Because Alexa tolerates poor manners.
You see, the prompt command to activate the Echo is “Alexa ...” not “Alexa, please.” And Alexa doesn’t require a ‘thank you’ before it’s ready to perform another task.
The author ends by saying they love Echo, but please Amazon why don't you have a kid-mode where you have to be polite to the digital device and you just don't boss it around?
Sounds like a pretty sound idea and I am curious why nobody at Amazon thought about this. But back to "The Donald."
My father is a little older than Donald but shares a few things with him. My dad's father was very successful and dad was raised in a wealthy if not rich household. He was a pain in the ass as a kid. Got in trouble more than a few times. He ended up at military school. But how he turned out and how I was raised, at least from what I know about Donald, could not be more different.
In my household manners, being polite and a gentleman was valued and reinforced above everything else. I should note before I go on that "winning," Trump's favorite word, was maybe second. It is not like the concept of the importance of "winning" is remotely foreign to me. It was pretty much pounded into my head that if you are going to do something, do it well and be the best at it. But we will come back to this.
Even to this day, and I am 47, I always say "please" and "thank you." I open the door for people. If I have a ball cap on and I sit down to eat I take it off. I pull out chairs for ladies. I say yes/no "sir" or "ma'am." If somebody gives me a gift or helps me, I handwrite a short "thank you" card to them. The list could go on and on. Just basic civility!
I do this all of course not because I read about it in a book or I might want something in return for acting this way, but because I was taught these are the right/correct things to do as a decent human.
I was also taught two other important things. Yelling, attacking, or belittling people is not a sign of strength. Nor is it a sign of weakness to say you are sorry when you make a mistake. I’ve met a lot of people in the last decade or two plus that would disagree with me. That makes me sad.
I say all of this not because I think I am remotely special. Willing to bet the vast, vast majority of the people here were raised in a very similar manner and those same people are raising their children in the same manner.
For example, my brother who is nine years younger than me has a six-year-old daughter. This Christmas I got her a number of gifts. The first she opened was a book. How Big is Big? How Far is Far? A beautifully illustrated book that on each two-page fold outlined things like size and weight and distance. Like what is the size of a Blue Whale or the distance to the sun in terms a child her age might understand.
She threw it on the ground and kind of went for another present.
A teaching moment then happened. She was told to say she was sorry. Thank me. Hug me. Ask me to read to her from the book or she was done opening presents. She is now a fan and we read from the book often.
Now to conclude with the "winning" thing which is the most telling thing to me about Trump and to a large extent the Republican party as a whole. Or many Republicans if not too many Americans.
Again I was taught to win, or at least if I do something to be good at it. Competitive sports were a major, major part of about half my life. Heck I had multiple college scholarship offers for two sports.
Early in my life I wasn't either a good "winner" or a good "loser." I can recall so vividly my father saying:
You can tell a lot about the character of a person by how they handle both winning and losing.
If I didn't handle either well, like a gentlemen, my sports equipment or outlets were taken away from me. About the most painful punishment, my parents could dish out. I quickly learned it wasn't that hard to bow my head and admit the other person was better than me that day or if I won, well played.
For well over a few decades what I've said here has served me so well in both my personal life, but more importantly in my professional life.
Trump and Cruz will burn down every bridge they can find to help only themselves. Both are now sitting out there wondering why people are not behind them? Well because you are assholes.
Civility people, manners, just the basics neither of you had and you are wondering at this point why nobody likes you. Funny!!!!!!!!!