North Carolina Repeals Bathroom Bill
SNARK
North Carolina has rescinded its “Bathroom Bill”. The loss of a proposed Paypal call center and its 400 jobs and a concert by Bruce Springstein weren’t enough to do away with North Carolina’s recently passed House Bill 2, which prevents cities from banning discrimination against the LGBT community and would regulate the use of public restrooms by transgendered men and women. However, when the online porn sharing site UniPorn blocked all access to users from the state, the Representatives had to retreat.
Cries of outrage became audible when legislators returned to their offices from their lunch on Thursday to find that when they tried to access the New York based adult video sharing site, they were met with a “page not available” message. When it became apparent that this was not merely a temporary outage, the State General Assembly quickly convened a special emergency session where a measure eliminating House Bill 2 was proposed and passed with almost unanimous consent. The sole dissenting vote came from Ezekiel Beauregard, who is both blind and deaf.
A colleague of Beauregards defended him.
“I’m sure that if there were a braille version of UniPorn, Zeke would have been right there in lockstep with us.”
However, legislators vowed the matter wasn’t over.
“Them Yankees blocked our porn!”, cried Dudley (Dud) Langfurt, (R) Mecklenburg. “This is unconstitutional and you can bet we’re gonna repass that bill so our bathrooms will be safe. Then we’re gonna make UniPorn restore our service and punish them so they won’t never try nothing like that agin! We’re gonna have justice. Believe me, the south will rise again!”