Alarm goes off. Roll over and slap randomly in direction of clock to turn it off. Eventually succeed. Lie there for a minute or two trying to muster up enthusiasm for opening my eyes and actually getting out of bed. Nudged into action by second alarm (little harp-music style one on my cell phone, placed just far enough away that I need to get up to turn it off). Shuffle over to bedroom door, greet wide-awake cats and almost trip over rug #1 that they have managed to “surf” down the hallway until it gathers into a rolled-up lump propped against the door.
Head for kitchen, trying not to trip over hungry cats, who are not interested in my “hey, it’s early!” excuses. Get their breakfast ready. Get my dog’s breakfast ready. Feed kitties. Go get my dog so he can eat his breakfast free of kitty interference. Feed dog. Get my breakfast ready: coffee, egg, piece of toast. Turn around and trip over rug #2, which is bunched up in the middle of the kitchen floor. Plate goes flying, toast and eggs now mingling with floor dust and some stray cat hair. Dog cannot believe his luck: SECOND BREAKFAST! Yet he hesitates and I manage to get it away from him (he’s a little guy, if he eats that on top of his own breakfast he’ll just end up getting sick, but I save him a little piece of scrambled egg because he was a good boy and didn’t try too hard to eat it while I was cleaning it up). Sigh. Breakfast #1 in trash. Make breakfast #2. Now running about 15 minutes late, between my lollygagging and cat-induced clumsiness.
I could tell it was not going to be smooth sailing today.
Life is full of these kinds of hiccups. Little irritants and setbacks that don’t seem like much on their own, but—added to others, one after the other—start to take on a life of their own. They can change the whole tenor of your day and color your mood. They can take an okay day and make it meh, or a meh day and make it worse, or even turn a run-of-the-mill bad day into a disaster.
Behaviorally speaking, it’s these kinds of days that derail our well-intended efforts. We make a plan that leaves little to no room for life’s routine (or not-so-routine) glitches. We forget to account for the hit our enthusiasm and focus takes when we’re dealing with unexpected crap. If enough of them happen, even the expected crap starts to feel like too much.
One critical component of behavioral change is to learn and implement new responses to old triggers and stresses. And that new response (thought or action) must happen quickly, just as quickly as the almost unconscious negative responses we’re trying to unlearn. Many of us get stuck in that angry/upset/stressed-out reaction stage, using the trigger or stressful situation as an excuse to bail on our efforts. It’s certainly tempting to want to walk away or not have to deal with whatever is stressing us out, after all. But—like falling off a horse or learning to ride a bike—the best approach is often to climb right back on board. By not giving ourselves too much time to dwell on it, but rather choosing to hit that reset button and start over—immediately!—we do two things: keep moving in the direction we want to be heading, and reinforce that new reaction to stress that we’re trying to learn.
Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?
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