Behavioral change is tough, not gonna lie. For most of us, it’s a drawn-out process where we go through various stages of contemplation and preparation, then grit our way through the usually unpleasant experience itself, followed by a long stage of potential relapse, intermittent frustration and discomfort every time we’re faced with reminders of our past behaviors and enticements to resume said behaviors, before landing—at long last—in the somewhat unfamiliar landscape known as the “new normal,” our post-change lives.
Many of us get stuck for a while in that contemplation/preparation stage, and that’s okay. It’s natural, and so common that the literature and recovery models all allow for relapse and delay during this point (or ANY point!) in the process. Most of us eventually come up with a reason or twelve why we should make that change, and at least a few of those are probably compelling enough to see us through the next bumpy and stressful time, when we act on the decision we made to go ahead and try this “change” thing on for size.
Finding a reason—your reason, or reasons—to change is an important step. It helps with focus and motivation, serving as a reminder of why we’re doing what we’re doing when we’re distracted or tempted or just plain ol’ stressed out. Those reasons are the little voice whispering in your ear when the other, less-helpful little voices of temptation start getting pushy.
The great thing is that your reasons don’t have to make sense to anyone but you.
They can be the classic ones: health concerns, cost, inconvenience, wanting to be free of your addiction.
They can be internal (letting go of guilt and frustration, or other negative emotional associations) or external (being tired of pressure to quit from family or friends; mandates or restrictions in work or social settings).
They can be self-focused (“I want to live a healthier lifestyle...”) or other-focused (“...so I can be around longer for my family and my pets!”), or a little of both.
All that matters is that you figure out your reason or reasons, and then—when you’re ready—be willing to take them and run with it.
I just know it’ll work out for you, because…reasons.
Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?
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