Let’s be Clear
Not everything KOS says is right. One time, he was having a bad dream, and while he was in that stage between sleeping and wakening, he shouted, “there are cats in three piece suits driving taxis made of soap!”
Now we all know that’s usually not true, although sometimes on a Saturday in Iceland it can happen, but that’s neither here.
So here are some examples of times when KOS Speaks for me:
- Any article where KOS says I am great
- Any article I happen to agree with that day
- Any article that states boots are more fashionable than sandals
- Any time he belches. When KOS belches, he speaks for all of us
- Any time he compares Donald Trump’s hair to vomit. Donald Trump’s hair is a lot like vomit, and we all know it
- Any time he posts that green is screaming again
Here are some times when KOS does not speak for me:
- When he posts that there are better impressionist painters than Van Gogh. Sheer Hogwash
- When he writes articles that imply Germans are better pianists than tree sloths. There’s no way he could know that for certain
- Any time he compares Donald Trump’s hair to Banana Laffy Taffy. Donald Trump’s hair is nothing like Banana Laffy Taffy
- Any time he posts that orange is sending out party invitations again
- Any article where KOS says I am not great
So I hope I’ve cleared that up for everyone. Sometimes, KOS is a bent umbrella, leaning into the gale of serial forces, hoping that saints deliver peanut coated yarn. And sometimes, he is a large furry moth, floating on the wind of frightened Yaks, and sealing the fate of tortured Ferrets.
But he is almost never a French Sousa Omelet, diving into the deep end of the pool while whistling the Dirge of the Teakettles.
And if anyone disagrees with me, they are just admitting I am right.