Well, it was too good to be true. The Donald Trump Campaign was holding its only West Michigan “Listening Tour” right across the street from where I live! With free pizza! Who was I to deny destiny?
The event was ostensibly to take questions about Trump’s platform at the upcoming convention in Cleveland. I walked in and, in lieu of a cover charge, was made to sign up (alias, I’m not stupid) and answer 3 threshold questions, all of which begged a “yes” answer: 1. Did I support Sanctity of Life, no exceptions? (no); 2. Did I support securing our borders against immigration? (no); 3. Did I support traditional marriage as in one man and one woman? (no). The greeter’s quick glance at my card started the Stink Eye ball rolling. Stink eyeball? Get it?
The event started late, so I was able to size up the room for about 45 minutes. In my small town, I am accustomed to seeing at least a few folks I know at public events. I saw no one who looked familiar to me here. Roughly 100 people packed into a small room, made to look well-attended. One person of color (see infra). Mostly old and young white men, no business attire. Maybe 25 or so females of varying ages. Proof of All- Gender Support: check.
Various handouts were scattered on the tables. One announced the upcoming “dynamic panel of experts” discussion: “Transgender Access: A Civil Right or Social Engineering?” Pandering to Public Panic: check.
We opened with the Pledge of Allegiance (natch). Then we were asked to stand again for the Prayer. Opening prayer is very popular here, even at governmental meetings (which is wrong and creepy in my book). I always opt to sit quietly and respectfully while others do their thing. But stand up, bow head, close eyes? Um, no. So, I’m in the very front, by the podium. Wearing a bright green shirt. And I don’t stand up. I’m looking at handouts. After the prayer is over, everybody in the room knows who and, of course, what I am. If Stink Eye could kill. God and Flag: check.
I am being watched now. Let’s not rough up the old lady in the green shirt, boys.
The first speaker, an attractive 30ish blonde convention delegate with a wealth of experience in other Republican campaigns. She explained the delegate process, the convention process, the platform. She then took suggestions from the audience about items to add to the platform. These included: Sanctity of Life and Constitutional Carry (she admitted these were state issues; but leaving them out of the platform would be seen as a “sign of weakness”), shipping illegal alien prisoners back home, and sending their country a bill for expenses; shoring up the grids; and getting rid of evil.
This last plank was put forth by a very excited little pastor from Bangladesh. He spoke at length, in heavily-accented English, about Ruination and Evil and Danger. The crowd was smirking and nodding to each other at first, and then openly impatient. A white-haired woman at my table said loudly, “Can anyone understand anything he’s saying?” The moderator, thanking him profusely, literally wrestled the mic away from him and moved on. Brown People/Immigrants Love Us: check.
One of the highlights of Platform Lady’s efforts to fire up the crowd was her yell, “Let’s hear it for the teachers! Any teachers here??” {crickets}. So great. So great. Unions Love Us: pending.
The main guy was the Trump Campaign Coordinator for Michigan. Campaign Guy has been in Republican politics, all over the country, for several years. Now I’m thinking: if you folks have served as the ground crew in so many GOP campaigns — that’s Bush 1, Bush 2, McCain, Romney — doesn’t it give you just the teeniest pause to realize that NONE of these influential Republicans is supporting your candidate? Not even a little bit?
When asked the question about Paul Ryan’s lack of support, Campaign Guy said, “Look, Paul Ryan is just a congressman from Wisconsin.” Really? He’s not Speaker of the House anymore?
As expected, his thrust was that Trump was the Real Deal, unafraid to Speak the Truth. “He hasn’t changed his views since the 80s and 90s”. Oh, but yes he has. He used to be pro-choice. He used to support gun laws. Hell, he used to give money to the Clintons. Wouldn’t it have been the wiser course to tout Trump as the Man Who Isn’t Afraid to Change His Mind? No matter, this crowd was buying every last shiny trinket that Campaign Guy was selling.
And he cautioned that we cannot be divided by Ted Cruz and his ilk, even though you probably supported him before: we have to work together now to defeat Evil Hillary. I wondered if this line was going to work any better with the Cruz supporters than with our own Berners.
The graphic to this post was a sticker handed out to announce the Trump Inauguration Event that will take place January 20-21 at the Soaring Eagle Casino. Don’t say you weren’t invited.