Damn! He bled to death. Try again.
Surgeon Simulator is a game that parodies rather than re-enacts surgery. You extract internal organs, for instance, and then drop them on the floor because they’re as hard to hold onto as jello. That’s always been the way it worked, and it’s a fairly funny though mindless amusement if you like blood-spattered parody humor. But now look who’s on the table.
In the new addition to Surgeon Simulator 2013, you get to make the choice between giving Trump a Heart of Gold, presumably good, and a Heart of Stone, presumably bad (and drastically more realistic). You do this by disassembling his chest with a pair of rubberfingered hands that constantly drop what they’re holding and installing the new heart. You can pour Trump Vodka into his chest cavity as well, if you think that would help.
The proportion now stands at 40% gold and 60% stone — presumably the “wish he’d change” group versus the “he’ll never change” one. But it’s far easier to have him bleed to death. Of course this is an unforeseen outcome and entirely unintended by the makers of the program.
Oh, and the program automatically calculates a medical bill. Virtual Trump has so far run up well over 44 billion dollars of work, and the number’s still rising. Here, at least, the man is certifiably yuuuge.
For those who are wondering, it gives him tiny hands as well.
For those who just have to add this to their collection of political commentary, the game is available through the Steam digital distribution platform. No word yet on lawsuits.