Once I had a Soul
But it was stolen. The AP announced that Dachshunds were short little wiener dogs, and that was it. First my relatives abandoned me, then my friends, then some friends of my relatives. Eventually, I was left out in the rain, in McArthur Park, like a cake.
All the people who like German Shepherds? Disembodied. All the people who ate spicy food? Disemboweled. All the people who wanted to vote in the California Primary? Disenchanted. It was awful, and then the AP stole my soul, and I had always thought I would sell it to Satan at a discount rate, if he would hook me up with that one blonde in accounting with the nice glasses.
So I wrote my Congressman, but he was a corrupt tool of the oligarchy, and he sent my letter to Hitler’s ghost. Hitler’s ghost was busy, but he took time to forward it to a bleeding pool of hot lava in Spain. And that’s the world we’re left with.
And Bernie? He’s having lunch right now.