BREAKING! The Democratic National Convention starts tomorrow.
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Just in case you didn’t know (and really, how could you?), the Democratic Party holds its convention in Philadelphia this coming week. In fact, it’s so close that tomorrow is the starting date. I know this comes as a shock to many of you, as it has somehow slipped completely under the radar.
There will, of course, be many differences between this week’s celebration and last week’s shit show.
Tonight’s feature presentation: Top 10 Things to Watch For at This Week’s DNC (*)
10. If you were watching your teevee last week, you might have thought it was malfunctioning. But I guarantee that this week, your teevee will be showing full, living color. In fact, a wide range of hues and colors. Maybe even a rainbow. This is not an illusion or camera trick.
9. Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update MSNBC Edition will still be the only thing worth watching on MSNBC. This is one of the few things remaining constant.
8. Speaking of which, Chris Matthews will say something incredibly stupid. And then complain about the balloon drop before it happens, on Thursday. (Caveat: The incredibly stupid thing-sayings are not limited to Thursday).
7. Donald Trump will tweet many things that are childish, stupid, self-serving, narcissistic, lies, offensive, misogynistic, or racist. He may even strike comedy gold (for the late night talk show hosts) and combine all those into one. He has the most beautiful tweets, using the best words.
6. Viewers playing drinking games while watching convention speeches will stay remarkably sober throughout the week (though possibly catching up during Chris Matthews segments. See above).
5. None of the speakers will tell the audience to vote their conscience, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Or be boo’ed off the stage. If by chance there are any audible boo’s, someone on stage will say “As a good friend of mine says: Don’t boo, vote!”
4. The convention stage will be a safe Baio-free environment. Cloris Leachman will not be heard saying: “For the love of god, will somebody please punch me in the face so I can see some stars?”
3. Many speakers will utter the phrase “The fact is...” followed by factual statements.
2. Delegates won’t abandon the room half-way through the speeches each night to drown their sorrows.
1. Hillary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(*) Not affiliated with Worldwide Pants Inc.
top comments for sunday july 24, 2016
From a2nite:
From kovie, a cogent list of the problems in Trump's speech. In “Donald Trump is right about one thing: American is in grave danger” by Ian Reifowitz.
From Dartagnan:
Top comment from Gaytheist examines the distinctions and divide between what white people are "angry" about, versus what people of color are "angry" about, in “America is angry. If we don’t speak to this anger, we’re in trouble” by David Akadjian.
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