I am asked, regularly by non-believers, how I/we do it. How do you stay on a motorcycle so long, and ride so far, and do so safely?
There is no easy answer to this, because unless you have experienced it the listener has to take a great deal on trust, and they start by not really believing it possible in the first place.
I am going to describe an experience I have had over the last few days as an example of how similar stresses can be placed on a person, yet they can continue to perform, solve problems, and recognize the symptoms of fatigue allowing proper decisions to be taken. Removed from the context of motorcycling the similarities are more easily seen. You also have the choice to not explain too :D
For the last three weeks, my wife Jodie, daughter and I have been on vacation in south/central France. Very nice, you will all agree, but there did come that time when we had to return home. That time was 8pm Thursday, US Central Time when we had to leave for a 2-hour drive to Toulouse airport. We were due home after three flights at 6 pm Central yesterday, Friday. Total expected trip time of 22 hours door-to-door. As we were expecting to sleep much of the way home (we didn't), then we had not been to bed before leaving and had already been awake 18 hours when we left. If you are keeping score that would be 40 hours, bed to bed.
And of course it went exactly to plan, except for the bits that didn't.
Drive to airport, check in and check bags .... Done
Fly to Brussels .... Done
Transfer and fly to Chicago O'Hare .... Check
Clear Immigration .... Yeah, 'bout that. I have never cleared US Immigration without referral to the cutely named "Secondary Screening". So that happened. I don't know why. Several US government departments have been crawling up my ass for about 15 years now. They have never found a reason to refuse to let me come home with my wife and kids, yet still they do it. Each time and every time. Glad to see my tax dollars are being so wisely spent.
So ... Check
Wait for flight to Tulsa .... and wait, and wait .... It's delayed because someone saw a cloud over Chicago and the boards are a mess of delays and cancellations. Flight is cancelled.
Booked on later flight to Oklahoma City. Arrange for Senior Daughter to collect us .... Done. Resigned to a late night and beginning to feel the effects. I can't adequately describe the stress of long flights, being herded like cattle through (US) airports, secondary screening and a crying daughter (again), and waiting, waiting. A quick note to whoever designed the seats at ORD. You suck! May your soul rot and your gonads be eaten by alligators, while you are still alive. Tired, bitchy and petulant usually describes my youngest daughter after a late night. Today it almost describes me (I was worse than that).
Flight to OKC .... Cancelled!
Next available flight ... 7pm tomorrow. FUCKING WHEN??? In the immortal words of a young John McEnroe .... YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS!
Best United Airlines can offer is a voucher for a hotel (They are all full, not a room to be had due to a large music festival), and their apologies. Sigh. Stress is rising.
Then an idea .... We'll rent a car and drive to Tulsa. It's only 687 miles. Call rental agencies .... no cars. They have all gone because ORD are cancelling flights due to a small cloud reported somewhere over Alaska. Okay then, we'll get a shuttle and go to the rental offices, because I am shit out of ideas and it's something to do. Also seriously worried about Wife's meds. She needs narcotics and lots of them. She is out and if we don't get home she will go into withdrawal. This is very bad for her physically, and very bad for me on so many levels that could even involve sharp knives should I utter a word out of place .... and I am not in the mood for choosing my words carefully. I have to get her home. This is causing me more stress than the lack of sleep, the angst and the missing aircraft ... I love my wife and it's my job to fix this.
Hertz shuttle driver says they have cars, so we jump aboard. Into the office and there are about 15 ahead of us in line. I am hoping they have at least 16 cars to rent. 30 minutes and queue hasn't moved. Then the manager comes out and tells us that if we do not have a reservation for a car, the One-way charge will be $850 plus fees and taxes. I tell her that we want to rent a car, not buy one, but this appears to cut little ice in her flinty soul, so we, and 15 others, leave the office. That woman knows how to clear a room! Gouging bastards.
Okay, over to Avis/Budget Car. Nuttin'. I play the "Wife's Meds" card. Woman goes off to find us anything, even one due for the wreckers yard. She tries really hard for 15 minutes but they just don't have room at the Inn. "Would you look away while I steal one?" I ask, innocently in my best British accent. She seems to think I am joking and compliments me for remaining cheerful. Meanwhile, I am wondering where Jodie keeps those knives, but the lady tried real hard and I thank her.
I leave Jodie and Natalie sitting outside Hertz like a couple of sad waifs hoping someone will take pity on us, while I trudge around all the Rental Agencies in Chicago looking for a moped with a large topcase. I find one, just around the corner at Dollar/Thrifty, coincidentally a Tulsa company. They have a new Hyundai Elantra. It is mine for 2 days for $650, and I can get quite a bit of that back if it at Tulsa International within 24 hours.
ROAD TRIP!!!
Wheels up are at 7.30pm, and we have been up for over 41 hours. Now all I have to do is drive the thing nearly 700 miles with my precious cargo onboard. Should be fine. What could possibly go wrong? Well actually, nothing went wrong :D It was awesome. I was hoping to reach St Louis before I needed sleep and that is when I managed to confirm that my rallying was useful.
About 80 miles short of the target I started to notice that I wasn't quite as sharp and cat-like as I usually am (yeah Bracken, who are you kidding?). I was having to actually concentrate on the actual driving. ... keep it in the lane, deliberate with the signals, etc ... It was a sign to stop. I'd give it 30 minutes and if we didn't find a Rest Area then we were stopping at the nearest gas station to get some sleep. Right on the limit we found a great Rest Stop. A quick pee and the driver's seat went flat for 3 hours sleep. We all slept. Back on the road around 3.00 and feeling terrific. I told Jodie that on a rally I could now go all day, but at the end of that I would need at least 6 hours sleep, probably in a bed. We took an hour for breakfast at Dennys, around 5.00 am (I am NOT on a rally, and the daughter demanded breakfast!). We arrived home at 10.45 am. Not bad at all.
About 55 hours with only 3 hours of good sleep, and I will sleep very well indeed tonight. What I noticed is that the feelings I had were almost identical to those I get on a rally or long certificate ride. Problems to solve, frustrations to deal with and the added stress of wanting to keep loved ones safe. It is the same, it was the same.
We have all have experiences like this that we can relate to and share. Riding a motorcycle is the same in this respect and I rather suspect others could appreciate that.
On the other hand, Motorcycling is infinitely more fun than Chicago O'Hare. Root canal or being subjected to the tortures of the Spanish Inquisition is probably more fun than ORD. Never again. I will not do that again.
Sorry for the many words ... I'll let you use them in your next game of Scrabble.
In other news …. We went to Tulsa International today to return the car and collect the checked baggage. Good news, we retrieved two suitcases. The bad news is that we left France with three!