Introduction: Everyone (by that I mean everyone who reads The New Yorker, which is most everyone I know) enjoys Andy Borowitz whose recent reportage in the magazine that Trump says is failing is “Pence Recaptured After Fleeing Trump Campaign Bus.” A somewhat less well known satirist with a different style is Paul Rudnick. His “Melania’s Diary" is a classic in that it reveals the inner thoughts and feelings of the woman who is a few million alt-right votes away from being the second foreign born first lady since John Quincy Adams’ wife Louisa who was born in London, England.
Political historians take note. This is a treasure. Here’s an excerpt transcribed from the former Slovenian supermodels own handwriting:
What is to become of me? If Donald wins, I will be forced to stand by his side for hours, playing that game where I count the exit signs and imagine that my real life is waiting behind one of them. Or I think about writing a series of children’s books—“The Beautiful Princess and the Ogre with No Friends,” “The Beautiful Princess and the Orange Baboon Who Doesn’t Pay Taxes,” and “The Beautiful Princess Who Misses Her Old Boyfriend Vanko, from Slovenia.”
Donald says that when I become First Lady I will need to have a cause. So far, I’ve come up with the following:
1. Helping women learn to flash their eyes alluringly.
2. Getting poor women tickets to fashion shows, so that they will feel less poor for a few minutes.
3. Avoiding Chris Christie’s sweaty desperation; he knows I can’t help him, because no one can.
Donald says that I will also need to fight radical Islam, but I tell him, “Donald, you already made me shake hands with Scott Baio, so I think I’ve done more than enough.” price can be established
Like the first Dead Sea Scrolls, the earliest dating back to 100 years before the birth of Christ, this one piece of paper is priceless. The government of the state of Israel houses most of them in the Shrine of the Book on the grounds of the Israel Museum. (Wiki) While experts at Southeby’s have estimated that it would fetch close to $1 millions at auction, the owner who prefers to remain anonymous but is reputed to be a maid at Trump Tower, says she’ll eventually donate it to the Smithsonian.