The Donald Trump campaign is now such a wreck that it's impossible to keep track of each and every ridiculous thing that happens during any given day, so here's a full-ish roundup of today's Trump campaign burps, belches and fiascos, both ones that that did and didn't make it to big-story status, all of which should still be preserved for future historians and/or the ape civilization that will soon supplant our own.
Or maybe he'll drop out next week in a huff, in which case this is all we'll have to remember him by.
• Trump is rallying in Wisconsin tonight. Conspicuously absent from the event? Wisconsin Republicans Paul Ryan and Gov. Scott Walker.
• One reason House Speaker Paul Ryan may not be showing up: He now says the movement supporting Trump "isn't even conservatism." And yet that's who the Republican base voted for, so go figure. Ryan also says it is theoretically possible that Trump could do something so horrible that Paul Ryan would have to rescind his endorsement, but declined to give an example. We know it's not calling Mexicans rapists, declaring the president a not-real-American, lying about imaginary film footage, suggesting the father of a fallen U.S. Army soldier is a terrorist-enabler, kicking babies out of his rallies or continuing to have a staggering lack of knowledge about the world around him, but there might be something!
• Speaking of that imaginary film footage, Trump now says he didn't see what he repeatedly said he saw. Glad that got cleared up.
• When a former head of the CIA calls your presidential candidate "a threat to our national security" and "an unwitting agent of the Russian Federation", you've had a bad day.
• In response to criticism of Trump's all-male list of economic advisors, Trump booster and Club for Growth founder Stephen Moore insists there is a secret, "broader list that has a lot of women." No word on whether there's also a secret, broader list of people with actual economic expertise.
• Ex-House Republican Todd Akin, the man who gave us his unique opinions on "legitimate rape", calls Trump "a breath of fresh air." If the Trump candidacy wasn't legitimate, after all, the Republican Party would have ways of shutting that whole thing down.
• Trump's team now insists they always expected his poll numbers to drop after the conventions.
• "A majority of GOP insiders, 70 percent, said they want Trump to drop out of the race and be replaced by another Republican candidate [...]"
• Ohio Gov. John Kasich continues to wallow in anti-Trump despair.
• Sean Hannity vows there will be consequences for Republican holdouts if Trump doesn't win the presidency. Consequences!.
• Human septic tank Roger Stone took to the Alex Jones show (naturally) to declare that the election was likely "going to be rigged" against Trump. Did I mention that the Republican Party is at this point just one big layer cake of conspiracy theories?
• If you've set up recurring donations to Donald Trump, good luck stopping them afterwards.