Growing up in the Midwest, there are certain values you are born into. You may hear it expressed as Minnesota or Wisconsin “nice.” You say please and thank you. You excuse yourself, you talk to strangers in public places, and you never speak ill of the dead. The meanest, most cantankerous asshole in town could die and you would go to his funeral, where not a cross word would be said about him. In fact, he would be praised for being the nicest man. I once walked away after funeral services wondering how they must have gotten a world-famous author to write the eulogy, because this person did not have a single redeeming quality in life—but in death, they were a saint.
The passing of Phyllis Schlafly is what prompted this column. Had our paths ever crossed, she is a person I would likely have crossed the street to avoid. I did not know her personally, and she may have been a wonderful wife and mother in private. Of course being from Wisconsin, I am not supposed to speak ill of the dead. So here’s Mrs. Schlafly speaking for herself:
- Sex education classes are like “in-home sales parties for abortions” — February 1997.
- "Our public school system is our country's biggest and most inefficient monopoly, yet it keeps demanding more and more money.” — September 2004.
- "ERA means abortion funding, means homosexual privileges, means whatever else.” — August 1999.
- "Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women.” — April 1981.
- "The worst censors are those prohibiting criticism of the theory of evolution in the classroom." — December 2004.
- “By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape.” — March 2007.
-
- "The most frequent complaint I hear from college students is that professors inject their leftist political comments into their courses even when they have nothing to do with the subject.” — March 2005.
- "People think that child-support enforcement benefits children, but it doesn't." — May 2005.
- “What I am defending is the real rights of women. A woman should have the right to be in the home as a wife and mother." — April 1975.
- "Minors are an intended audience for the highly profitable sex industry. Impressionable teenagers are easily persuaded to have abortions, and homosexual clubs in high school are designed for the young.” — September 2004.
-
You get the idea, and these quotes just barely scratched the surface. This vile trip down memory lane makes me reconsider speaking ill of the dead. In her musings on the Eagle Forum you’ll find article after article of opinions not based on facts, but seemingly pulled from the air. They shine a light on a woman who increasingly feared change—someone who wanted to live in a fantastical, 1950s-like time that never existed. The very idea that a husband cannot rape his wife, or that “virtuous women” could not be sexually harassed borders on pure fantasy. In some ways, she was pitiful—someone who could not see the world for what it could be, only how she perceived it to be in the past.
It isn’t just Phyllis Schlafly that produced a seemingly endless supply of thoughts and opinions that are not based in reality. Breitbart, Drudge, Fox News, Alex Jones, Ann Coulter, and Rush Limbaugh spew this same garbage day after day, over the air, in books, and online. Going through the lies and half-truths of conservative commentators makes it much easier to understand how Donald Trump became the nominee of a major political party.
In death, Mrs. Schlafly’s life will be celebrated by conservatives across the nation. They will praise her and her work and call her the voice of the conservative movement. We will no doubt see legislation at all levels of government that will attempt to rename airports, streets, and schools after her. Hopefully cooler heads will prevail and this won’t happen—then again, I thought there would never be a Reagan National Airport, either.
Someday, historians will look back at conservative pundits in the late 20th and early 21st century and likely say under their breath, what the fuck were these people thinking? Mrs. Schlafly and other conservative commentators are on the wrong side of history. They offer nothing to bring people together or move our nation forward. The only solutions they can offer are tax cuts, and drowning government in a bathtub—solutions that will not educate our children, feed the poor, or house the homeless. I will not dance on her grave—but the world may have become a slightly better place in the last week.