Being a part of the one percent can really be tough. It’s almost impossible to become poor when you are born into such wealth. Your family connections and the interconnectivity of your financial interests with other one percenters virtually ensures that even if you are a monumental fuck up—I’m looking at you, Donald Trump—you aren’t going to want for much in this life. Of course, one percenters are people too and as Michael Stipe once sang, “Everybody Hurts … sometimes.” Ivanka Trump is her father’s number one best thing. According to Donald Trump and Ivanka, she’s got the looks and the brains and the business acumen to continue the great Drumpf legacy of floating like pond scum to the top of our society. But she had to learn somewhere, and how did she learn? By being super industrious as a young child. You know what I’m talking about—she had a lemonade stand! In her 2009 memoir The Trump Card, the Trump daughter explains how having a lemonade stand taught her the fundamentals of business.
"First of all, my mother wasn't about to let us set up shop with a lemonade stand at Fifth Avenue and 57th Street — and to do so in the lobby of Trump Tower would have been just a little too precious, don't you think?" she writes.
So they made an arrangement to set up shop one summer at their house in Greenwich, Connecticut, and the kids agreed to keep track of the costs of the lemonade and reimburse "the house" for those expenses out of their proceeds.
But unfortunately, there wasn’t much in the way of “foot traffic,” and so the young Trumps did what Trumps do—they forced the people they barely pay to give them money back so that they could have their ego stroked just enough to see another day.
Ivanka writes that she and her brothers used their "wily charms and persuasive marketing skills" to get their bodyguard, their parents' driver, and some of the household staff to buy enough lemonade to cover their expenses. They "took pity on us and dug deep for their spare change," she writes.
They didn’t “take pity” on you kids. You extorted them. Donald is right about you, Ivanka, you are a chip off the ol’ block!
