Ever lose a condom?
This is one of the most painful diaries to write. It isn’t the subject matter that pains me, but the cut at the tip of my middle index finger. Come to think of it, that is the subject matter of this diary.
If you’re going to have to have a cut, you don’t want it at the tip of anything. As soon as you get a cut on the tip of anything you realize immediately just how much tipping you do. And not in a good way. Typing can’t be done without tipping. Who knew there were so many “E”s on a keyboard?
Two days after I sliced & diced my finger I still had a band aid on it. That meant that at my job I had to put on a finger condom. They’re always too small & I’m always in a rush when I put one on…& almost always I have to do it myself. Anyways, I wasn’t going to hold up my middle index finger to someone & ask them to put a condom on it. No thank you. Been there, done that. I’m in pain and folks are just laughing.
What I don’t understand though is how it is almost impossible to put them on because of tightness, but nonetheless they slip off every GD time. It’s not like my finger shrinks throughout the night.
However, this time I managed to go through the whole night without anyone laughing at my finger condom & without poking it into anyone’s food. I felt relieved until I sat down at a table with 2 waitresses after work. As I held the cup to my face to take a drink I noticed the flimsy bandaid was still on, but the condom was now mysteriously gone. Wtf?
“Omg, my condom fell off. Where did it go?”
That was it. The two waitresses exploded in laughter. My face turned red. Any comment I made after that just made them laugh more and more and more. We then had to inspect all the booths to try to find it before a customer might the next day. All through that process they didn’t stop laughing at me.
Still don’t know where the condom went….
THINK GLOBALLY, ACT LOCALLY
TODAY!