Yup. After years of waiting, finally, today, The Envelope dropped through the mail slot!
I was beside myself. I was beginning to think it would never come, that people here were right and the whole thing was just a right wing lie.
But no. Finally, all my years of marching, resisting, writing, making songs and videos paid off. And, frankly, I was thinking the payoff should be pretty generous. I mean, for god’s sake, I was in the streets against Nixon. The thought of all those years of back pay, maybe even with interest, made me a little dizzy.
Hang on. What’s this?
That’s odd. A survey? On weed? Huh?
Ah, I get it.
Don’t want to give away the game, maybe have the check stolen in the mail, have to cancel it and print another. Very clever, George. I can see how you amassed that fortune.
So I tore open the envelope and pawed through the contents, looking for that magic piece of paper with the “Pay to the Order of” line, and…
And…
WHAT?!?
Dude, you can NOT be serious! An actual survey on weed? With a begging letter asking me for money? After all I’ve done for you and your secret organization to communize and feminize and anti-Americanize this joint? Really? REALLY???