From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
What Obama Did In The Middle of the Night (Hint: He Wasn’t Tweeting)
October, 2009
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I’ll keep this short. Donald Trump is a malignant narcissist, a gaslighter and a heartless moron. And he can go to hell.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Note: [Loads cannonball with the words HAPPY HOLIDAY on it into catapult] [Launches in direction of Fox News.] It begins.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til open enrollment starts on the ACA exchanges: 14
Days 'til the Gilfeather Turnip Festival in Wardsboro, Vermont: 10
Percent of Puerto Ricans with power now: 15%
NRA donations to the GOP last year: $6 million
NRA donations to Democrats last year: $100,000
Average cost of a gallon of gas: $2.45
Percent chance that Carrie Fisher once sent a cow tongue to a producer who sexually harassed a friend of hers: 100%
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 3 date settings and 1 chocolate baron savior). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved!!!
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CHEERS to sensible southerners. I never doubted for a second that a huge swath of Alabamans would be mortified at the prospect of Jesus freak Roy Moore becoming a sitting United States senator from their state. And now the latest Fox News(!) poll shows that “The Ten Commandments Guy” is struggling mightily:
Doug Jones is a great Democrat with more integrity and smarts in his pinky than Moore will ever have in his entire family tree. Show him some lovin’. This thing is a horse race. And the horse’s ass may be on his way to the glue factory.
CHEERS to the Great Bidding War of Aught Seventeen. To prove that even a clueless simpleton can upload items for the Netroots Nation fall online auction, last weekend I posted over half a dozen allllllll by my own Billy self! Now it’s your turn! Karen Kolber & Co. are now accepting donations for the legendary event that raises money to offset the costs of the annual convention (New Orleans next August). The starting gavel doesn’t fall until November 9th, so you have plenty of time. Cue the block quote…
To donate to the auction:
Rifle through your stuff and find things that'll make people go "Oooh!" and/or "Ahhh!" but preferably not "Gaahhh my face is melting!" (Do not go through other people's stuff unless you're absolutely sure you won’t get caught, especially if you're taking conspicuous items like, say, a dam or Elizabeth Warren’s welcome mat.) Think political memorabilia, books, clothing, chocolate, pink flamingos, jewelry, autographs, blimps, trips, art, services (please make sure your service is legal in at least one state), games, electronics, collectibles, etc. Then click on this link to upload details about your donation via the “Donate Items” button on the left-hand side. (You can also go there to peruse the items already uploaded.)
Netroots Nation will email you once they've reviewed your submission(s). Auction starts in 22 days. Bring a helmet. It could get rough in there.
CHEERS to today’s edition of You Don’t Say! Our Wednesday entry is provided courtesy of social psychologist Dr. Justin Lehiller, who reports on a new study of the Google habits of the species Conservatus Hypocritus Hornytoadus in our reddest states:
[R]esearchers examined Google search trends for seven sex-related terms across all 50 U.S. states for the years 2011 and 2012. The terms in question included: “sex,” “gay sex,” “porn,” “xxx,” “free porn,” “gay porn,” and the Google Image search term “sex.” Each state was assigned a religiosity score and a conservatism score based upon data obtained from recent Gallup polls, and these scores were then correlated with the frequency of each sexual search term. […]
[R]eligious conservatism was associated with more frequent searches for the term “sex” across both years, even when controlling for general internet use and several demographic variables (state population, GDP, and poverty levels). … [P]olitical conservatism was associated with more frequent searches for “sex” (2011), “gay sex” (2012), and the Google Image “sex” term (2011 and 2012), even when controlling for internet use and demographics.
This has been today’s edition of You Don’t Say!
CHEERS to suit #1. Last week we told you about a new legal group---headed by one of the lead attorneys in Edie Windsor’s historic Supreme Court DOMA case---dedicated to intervening “when political leaders profit off their positions of power or abandon our country's commitment to civil rights and equal justice for all.” I also told you that Integrity First for America’s first lawsuit was imminent. Sure enough, it’s been filed, and it’s enough to make you want to yell “Sieg heil!---[Thpppt!]---Heil!---[Thpppt!]” right in der Nazis’ face:
A lawsuit filed in federal court in Charlottesville states that neo-Nazis and white supremacists terrorized and harmed residents of Charlottesville, Virginia during the violent marches of August 11-12, 2017, violating the Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871, the Civil Rights Act of 1866, and various other statutes
The suit was filed by residents of Charlottesville, including a Christian minister, University of Virginia students, and others who were injured as a result of events planned and executed by neo-Nazis and white supremacists during the weekend of August 11-12. Two of the plaintiffs had their legs broken when the car driven by defendant James Alex Fields crashed into civilians.
Defendants include over twenty-five prominent white supremacists, neo-Nazis, and hate groups that planned and executed the events of August 11-12. … The suit states, “the violence in Charlottesville was no accident.”
If I was America’s sarcasm czar, I’d call this case IFA v. Very Fine People.
JEERS to the worst liar in the world. The Trump administration’s top propaganda mistress, Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS Kellyanne Conway, made a rather astonishing claim over over the weekend that her boss Donald Trump is---gird your loins, this is a whopper---“the most faith-centric, pro-life president in our lifetime." Okay---let’s unpack the second half first. Under the administration of still-very-much-alive Jimmy Carter, no wars were fought, the anti-nuke SALT II treaty was signed with Russia, a peace accord was signed between Egypt and Israel, and his environmental record helped make earth a more habitable place. That’s a lot of pro-lifeness! And as for being the most faith-centric president in our lifetime? What a freaking easy layup:
Kellyanne should attend one of Jimmy’s Sunday School classes. I hear he’s a real pro at explaining that whole not bearing false witness thing.
CHEERS to news from across The Pond. [Beep Beep Beep Beep…Beeeep!] "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a breaking news bulletin, old chap: today marks the 92nd anniversary of the BBC, which is properly pronounced, of course, 'Beh Beh Seh.' Since our founding we've maintained a reputation for being cool, calm, impartial, and accurate. So of course you Americans have no idea what to make of us. Now stay tuned for The Goon Show, followed by Educating Archie and assorted ramblings from Her Majesty the Queen during her ceremonial Drinking of the Several Glasses of Sherry." [Beepity Beeeeep!]
JEERS to previews of coming attractions? The massive $3 billion taxpayer-funded suck-up to Foxconn, the TV-screen manufacturer that is planning to plop down a huge facility in Wisconsin, has been slowed a bit due to deliberateness on the part of the Wisconsin Economic Development Corp. (WEDC), which is producing the final draft of the contract. While Republicans rub their hands together in gleeful anticipation of having a brand-new political feather in their cap, here’s a reminder (on an admittedly smaller scale) that it can all go down the crapper real fast:
The state of Wisconsin is taking legal action against an airplane manufacturer that received $4 million in state loans and millions more in tax incentives in 2012 to build a plant in Superior that was to employ 665 people.
Five years after the loans were made to Kestrel Aircraft, the manufacturing plant hasn’t been built, there are no aircraft manufacturing jobs in Superior, and Kestrel---now part of ONE Aviation, headed by Northland aviation mogul Alan Klapmeier---hasn’t made a loan payment to the state in 11 months and is in default. In a memo Monday from the Wisconsin Economic Development Corp. (WEDC) obtained by the News Tribune, state officials told the company they are “moving forward with legal action” because of “Kestrel’s inability to show measurable progress toward obtaining financing.”
There’s one particularly good reason why, when it comes to the Foxconn deal, there may soon be a time when everyone hates it: namely, Trump loves it.
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Ten years ago in C&J: October 18, 2007
JEERS to trying to enlighten the unenlightenable. George Bush will be meeting with "that funny guy who walks around in his bathrobe," the Dalai Lama, today inside the White House residence (not the Oval Office, to avoid causing a nuclear showdown with China, or something like that). If he greets him with "Hello Dalai," everyone wins a free Slurpee™. Sadly, the odds are amazingly high.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to today's required legalese:
DISCLAIMER: The Concerned United National American Center Institute Chamber Enterprise Foundation Gateway Commission Gaggle Office Consortium Coalition Crossroad Fund Organization Citizens for the Protection Defense Sanctity and Advancement of Sensible Freedom Liberty Values Growth Hope Progress Prosperity Opportunity Responsibility Commerce Change Protection Mothers Fathers Children Families Puppies Patriots, Babies, Baby Wipes and Blue Skies But Against Fraud Waste Abuse Deficits Taxation Without Representation Treading On Me and Tyranny is responsible for the content of this blog post. To contact us, talk to the slobbering 150-pound rottweiler guarding our Cayman Islands P.O. box. His name is Fluffy.
For a complete list of our donors, go outside and wish on a star. If the names don’t magically fall out of the sky, well, we tried.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Cheers and Jeers seems to have been second-, third- and fourth-guessed at every turn, and bears the manifold scars and stitches of on-the-fly rethinking.
---Variety
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