On Monday, my plan to write a diary about a musical we saw on Sunday evening as derailed by … the hideous current events. In so many ways, those events are on-going, but so are the issues discussed in the musical. So it is time to get back to that, while it is still fresh in mind.
The musical is called Fun Home, somewhat autobiographical in nature, by a woman named Alison Bechdel. (As wikipedia notes in the link to the show, above, ‘the first Broadway musical with a lesbian protagonist.’)
It was fascinating to watch how the musical was set up. ‘Present-day’ Alison is the on-stage observer, watching her family and herself at two stages in her life, once as a child, once as a late teen. Exquisitely played by Kate Shindle (the link is to a WaPo article on her and the role, not to the wikipedia page on her), the adult Alison watches the developments in herself and her family with at least as great a curiosity and fascination as we did in the audience.
Despite the title, there wasn’t very much fun in evidence. At all stages, the play dealt with a severely dysfunctional family, led by a father trying to make his way in the world as a homosexual man, when he had no way to come to terms with his real identity.
Born in 1960, Bechdel grew up in a world in which homosexuality was stigmatized under the best of circumstances, actively persecuted under others. Social networking of the sort we see today didn’t exist, so homosexuals couldn’t ask questions, couldn’t find answers. In many ways they were mysteries to themselves, isolated, conflicted, fearful. Even so, this courageous young woman came out at age 19 (that would make it about 1979!).
A general plot summary may be found in the wikipedia link to the musical, itself, so I’m not going to re-hash it in my own words.
Instead I want to draw in something I thought of while watching the show.
In 2001, Angie Harmon and Charlie Sheen were in a movie together called Good Advice.
There were good and bad aspects to the film. I am not a big fan of either of those actors, but I liked the movie, generally, and I liked the chemistry the people they played had in it. In short, Charlie Sheen needed a job, so when his advice columnist girlfriend (played by Denise Richards) split, he took that over for something to do. Generally light-hearted, at one point ‘Cindy’ (Sheen’s advice column alter-ego) got a letter from a mother who was deeply troubled.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, but I actually found that exact clip on YouTube! First search!
To simplify, I made a transcript (there may be errors) of the letter he received, and his response.
Dear Cindy,
I've recently been introduced to your column. I think you're great. I don't have many people to talk to so, I thought, here goes … My son has the AIDS. I never approved of his lifestyle, and was always honest about it. Now I live in shame, and have been telling people he has cancer. I know most of your stuff is about broken hearts and romance, but why can't I move past this? I don't have a lot of time to find an answer here. Please help me.
After trying to run away, and some sage advice from his BFF, Jon Lovitz, he wrote back.
Dear Help Me,
It's not how your son dies but rather how he lived. He may not agree with all your life choices, either, but I bet he loves you. Don’t be angry at yourself for feeling shame. Be angry at the people who instilled shame in you. Let go of your prejudice and grab hold of your son. You’ll have plenty of time after he's gone for anger.
Of course, even the language of that is, for me, somewhat problematic. ‘Life choices?” I think not. But all in all I like the exchange, and suspect, if it were real, it could have helped that mom and her dying son.
In Fun Home, Alison seems to seek the answer to the riddle of her gay father. She seems to seek a path to reconciliation and closure, a path to loving him, and receiving his love in turn.
It doesn’t happen, prior to his death in an accident with a motor vehicle.
But maybe the difficulty of the relationship can help others who, like ‘Help Me’ in the movie, still have time.
And though I know the battle goes on in our world, just as it does with gender and race, let us hope that we’re on the path to a better, more loving, more diverse and accepting world.
On to tonight’s comments!
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Note: Please remember that comment inclusion in Top Comments does not constitute support or endorsement by diarist, formatter, Top Comments writers or DailyKos. Questions, complaints or comments? Contact brillig.
From noweasels:
I nominate this comment, when Snapples breaks your heart in half in a handful of words. (From noweasels’s diary on the tragedy in Las Vegas.)
From pixxer:
-pixxer
From Wee Mama:
This comment (from
pr0gressivist) is so filled with good news itself that it will cheer you up!
Highlighted by ozsea1:
Is this fine comment by FishOutofWater, about the black hole that is the conservative universe. In mspicata’s excellent rec-list diary on Gorsuch’s lack of integrity, as identified by Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Highlighted by side pocket
Is this comment by glescagal denigrating glescagal’s own comments. (And please read this followup comment by … you guessed it! glescagal!
Top Mojo ala mik!
For Tuesday, October 3, 2017, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary on the subject.
Top Pictures
2017-10-04, courtesy of jotter!